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perfectionism and - Obsessive-Compulsive Foundation

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6/14/13<br />

Sharing Thoughts <strong>and</strong> Feelings: <br />

The Listener’s Role <br />

• While your partner is speaking <br />

– Show acceptance (acceptance is not agreement) <br />

– Try to put yourself if your partner’s place <br />

• When your partner finishes speaking <br />

– Summarize his or her most important feelings, desires, <br />

conflicts, <strong>and</strong> thoughts <br />

• Do NOT <br />

– Change the meaning of your partner’s statements <br />

– Judge what your partner says <br />

– Try to solve a problem <br />

Making Decisions about <br />

Accommoda@on <br />

• Discuss accommoda@on together <br />

– State problems in terms of behaviors, not people <br />

– Choose one area at a @me <br />

– Make sure both partners agree this is an area they are <br />

ready to try to address or change <br />

FRIDAY<br />

Making Decisions about <br />

Accommoda@on <br />

• Discuss why accommoda@on is an important <br />

problem <br />

– Share your underst<strong>and</strong>ing of the problem <br />

– Explain what you’d like to be taken into account when you <br />

make a decision <br />

• Don’t give any solu@ons yet <br />

Making Decisions about <br />

Accommoda@on <br />

• Discuss possible solu@ons <br />

– Focus on the solu@on, not who is right or wrong, or what <br />

the truth is <br />

– Think about how to do things differently in the future <br />

– Brainstorm if it’s hard to find solu@ons <br />

-60-<br />

5

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