The-Slight-Edge

living the Slight Edge 177
generation you’re looking at, it always seems to be in a state of crisis!), the single
most powerful influence on children will always be the people who raise them.
My daughter Amber has unusually high self-esteem. This is no accident;
in fact, it is a blessing I owe to the Slight Edge. When Amber was little, my wife
and I knew that no matter how much we might want to, we could not change
the 40,000 “No’s” she was going to experience. That’s what parents do: we set
boundaries. The “No’s” are something we do to protect our kids. That’s our job.
We couldn’t change the number of “No’s”—but we could change the
number of “Yes’s.” And that is exactly what we did.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is more “Yes’s.” So every
time we said “No,” we found a way also to say “Yes.” By the time Amber went to
school, she brought with her some 40,000 “No’s,” but she also brought with her
something to the tune of 160,000 “Yes’s”—four times as many Yes’s as No’s. It
changed her philosophy and her view of life. It changed her view of herself. As a
result, it will change her entire life.
Though children are special, they are not unique in this respect: they are
human beings, and so is everyone else. What kind of influence can you have on
people simply by providing them with more “Yes’s”? More influence than you
can possibly imagine.
I want you to hear from Renee, Amber’s mother and my best friend, because
she consistently applies the Slight Edge to relationships better than anyone I
have encountered:
My first Slight Edge experience began as a child watching my mother
interact with everyone around her. She made a difference every day, with
friends and strangers alike. We didn’t know what it was at the time, but
it was definitely the Slight Edge in action. I didn’t inherit her gregarious
personality, but I did inherit her heart for people.
I have made it a habit to be present with whomever I happen to be
with. To take an interest in them and what is going on in their world, to ask
questions, and most important, to give encouragement for a job well done,
to notice and comment on what is right, and not what is wrong. I do this
even with strangers that I might possibly never see again, for sales clerks,
wait staff, and people I come across during my daily activities.
I don’t know how this affects the people I encounter, except to know
that so often people who are checking me out at the grocery store will spill
their hearts and tell me so much of their personal lives, because for a
moment, I took an interest in them.