Awareness in Buddhist Meditation

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136 through mind-control or substitution or whatever system of mindculture is advocated, here is watchfulness of what is actually taking place. The disturbance is seen as an opposition of the ‘self’ and not as to the ‘self’. The opposition is felt, because there been set up a barrier of self-defence, an ideal frontier where none but ‘self’ may pass. In that isolation, which is opposition, there is no relationship possible, no contact, except with the ideal, created by the ‘self’. According to that ideal there must be undisturbed peace of mind, so that the mind can follow-up its pre-set striving for the goal of its own making, and which is (as we have seen already) one’s own ‘self’ as the ideal of perfect peace. But, the ‘self’ is not ideal; it is very real in the sense of action and reaction, in the meaning of projection and desire, of escaping from the unwanted. Watchfulness, without striving to attain an ideal state, can see the play of thought trying to become. And seeing it as play, its apparent reality has gone; and with it the ideal vanishes. Here is no laying of ghosts which never were there. Here is ‘no conquest of a self’ which never was. Here is just seeing the play as a play. And that too is an enjoyment, because now there is no more selfinvolvement; and that joy can be truly bliss, when all self-isolation has ceased to oppose, when there is no conflict of a spectator and an actor, when there is just living and experiencing life as it comes, when the ‘I’ is seen as the play. For, in this awareness there is also an awakening attention which sees and understands. But, even here in this awakening there is still a lurking danger of a dualistic set-up: the spectator separating himself from the actor, as earlier the actor set himself apart from the action. Seeing the actor at play, and thereby seeing the unreality of both actor and play, being mere play-acting, that is an experiencing of aloofness, of non-involvement, of not being in with it. But this very experience of non-involvement, of not being in with it, is easily interpreted as being out of it: I am free, detached from all acting. I can see the
137 puppets on the stage of life and may even be impressed by their skill in movement, beauty and rhythm; and see it all as part of the play of which I am no part anymore. I can use it, and use myself and others with it, as one plays with a child at make-believe, and yet not be part of it. It is not my game. I can even see myself fooling about with the things of the world, food and clothing, comfort and ease; and also see that those things, those acts, are not mine. I may be in the centre of the stage or not, I may not play at all; the words, the acts, the gestures, the costumes, the lights, may not affect me, for that is not myself. Yet, in seeing, there may be the concept of the spectator, who is no more part of the play, but who now has set himself up as the spectator, the critic with his superior knowledge that there is no longer a playing puppet. To see this last line of ‘self’-defence is truly an awakening from a dream, which was a play written, produced and acted by the ‘self’. In this awakening of intelligence there is no further conditioning of thought and will, by memory and ideal, by volition and choice. In seeing and understanding without conditioning there is direct action, which is not a reaction of being pulled by strings this way or that. And thus there is a perfect balance in the absence of opposites. That is even-mindedness without separation of actor and the action, of the actor on the stage and the spectator in the wings. That is insight in what is. This is the truth which sets free. Then, is there is not an ‘awakener’, someone who is awakened, who is enlightened, who is emancipated, who is a Buddha? It is that very question which is one of those impossible questions (avyākata), a question which cannot be answered or decided with a yes or no. ‘Is the Buddha after his final deliverance existent or is he not?’ It is the question which shows the ignorance of the questioner. There is still a search for security, a search for the final refuge for the ‘self’. The ‘I’ still wants Buddha to help, to teach, to lean on. In the dream the ‘I’ continues the search, for without a search the ‘I’ is not. ‘I’
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Copyright Notice This work is licen
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4 Awareness of Perceptions . . . .
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From the publisher Henry Van Zeyst,
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10 the ‘ego’, for the maintenan
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12 insubstantiality (anatta). The l
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Awareness, the Beginning of Enlight
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3 more important than the understan
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5 continuance in impermanence, conf
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7 Awareness is not Consciousness Aw
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9 When there is no Awareness We are
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11 not come through exertion, does
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Mindfulness as Recollection However
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15 the Buddha is seen as the perfec
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17 with good conduct, for they are
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19 understanding of the degree of d
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21 as change in evolution. And to s
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23 our craving for continuity, this
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25 observation leads to a feeling o
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27 of the eye, the flexibility of t
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29 awareness. When consciousness ce
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31 thing to be talked about as an a
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33 an escape is only more conflict.
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Applications of Awareness Awareness
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37 Here is a sensation which is con
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39 as a soul to carry and to carry-
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41 (saññā) ideations or mental f
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43 an entity, free from the opposit
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45 Attachment to rules and rites (s
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47 is thus made an object for striv
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49 mind, such as the five hindrance
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51 cur, a revelation not through di
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53 of achieving, but just melts awa
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55 which prevent the mind to be at
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57 bare attention, not with the int
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59 of a search for happiness contai
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61 ery experience is fresh, in whic
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that craves for continuance, of all
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66 Originally, in the early suttas,
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68 the conflict, and conflict is mi
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70 mind again. ‘What is felt is p
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72 counter-balance to delusion (moh
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74 be able to get rid of the deprav
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Awareness in Reaction Methods How c
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79 of, will be there. But that is n
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81 past. Clinging to the past has f
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83 denial or to a spiritual ideal,
Page 101 and 102: 85 When the mind is totally open an
Page 103 and 104: 87 happens to a watcher who is foun
Page 105 and 106: 89 now projected into the future as
Page 107 and 108: 91 property, who set fire to my hou
Page 109 and 110: 93 experience. When no answer is so
Page 111 and 112: 95 there is freedom to see, to unde
Page 113 and 114: 97 what it is, and not where it com
Page 115 and 116: Awareness in Meditation Stillness o
Page 117 and 118: 101 future, based on a dead memory.
Page 119 and 120: 103 neither the ‘self’, nor the
Page 121 and 122: 105 truth; becoming as ‘self’,
Page 123: 107 to become perfect. Awareness do
Page 126 and 127: 110 is the wide vista for all to se
Page 128 and 129: 112 truth in spheres where sense-pl
Page 130 and 131: 114 has no entity, no conflict can
Page 132 and 133: 116 all know what is right; and yet
Page 134 and 135: 118 true relationship, as all conta
Page 136 and 137: 120 is in loving, the thought of lo
Page 138 and 139: 122 loving; and that moment is alwa
Page 140 and 141: 124 Compassion is frequently seen a
Page 142 and 143: 126 should not be a barrier of dist
Page 144 and 145: 128 is the food on which the ‘I
Page 146 and 147: 130 Sympathy Sympathetic joy (mudit
Page 148 and 149: 132 no preoccupation, no pettiness,
Page 150 and 151: 134 not ‘mine’, but which is al
Page 154 and 155: 138 am that projection, that ideal,
Page 157: About the Author Henri van Zeyst wa
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Awareness in Buddhist Meditation

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