Awareness in Buddhist Meditation

56
The four Noble Truths
Of all mental phenomena (dhamma) the most outstanding one is
the mind’s reaction to conflict (dukkha). The religious attitude to
conflict has been expressed in many ways. It is shown as the constant
fight between the spirit and the flesh, as temptation, as sin, as
the struggle for life, evolution in existence, sorrow, grief, loss, suffering—all
expressing an internal opposition, a constant striving to
overcome, to outgrow, a desire for a new start in a new life through
salvation, grace, transmigration or rebirth.
The stress is always on escape, on renewal, on reward in a better
life for those who won the battle. The mind and the heart are so
much preoccupied with this battle that few ever think of what this
conflict is. No system of religion or philosophy has been able to
solve this problem satisfactorily, because the search is always one
for a solution rather than a dissolution. Thus the search itself ends
in delusion, because it has begun in ignorance.
What is conflict? Are we aware of conflict? Or are we just
feeling the unpleasant effects, the undesirable outcome of being in
conflict? And are we not concentrating exclusively on the cause
and effects thereof? When facing conflict within ourselves, what is
our attitude? Is it not an attitude of repelling, of opposition, of
escaping, of conquest? What is it that we want in this life of strife?
To be free from conflict. And we have given many names to that
freedom: Eternal bliss, beatific vision, the supreme good, divine
love, union with God, emancipation, deliverance, Nirvāṇa. But do
we know the meaning of those words; they are not even concepts,
because they are beyond thought. They are ideals, mere ideas of a
supreme escape from sorrow, from loss, from conflict. We know the
effect of loss, the loneliness, the desolation, the lack of support, the
fear of standing alone. But that is not conflict; that is the effect of
conflict, and we are fighting to get rid of those consequences.
But what is conflict? This is the ultimate question of a mind
with full awareness. Conflict must be seen as a phenomenon with