Awareness in Buddhist Meditation

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view of the apparent impossibility to build up a fortress of safety.
Within living memory we have been through two devastating world
wars, several unprecedented economic world-crises, revolutions and
catastrophes of earthquakes and famine. And notwithstanding all
those eliminating factors, the human world-population is bursting
its bonds at an alarming rate, completely disproportionate to the
supply of foods required for its maintenance. And we continue our
search for happiness.
It is clear that this search is but an escape from the problem of
insecurity. All striving, and that means all progress, is an indication
of this uneasiness, which is the driving force of action, of all effort
to achieve. Thus we chase and are being chased round and round
in a circle, because we have not paused to investigate the actual
problem. A search for happiness is an escape from sorrow; and a
continued search indicates that the goal has not been reached.
What is that goal of happiness, the goal of all striving? The
feeling and the knowledge of satisfaction and ease are so short-lived
that they contain in themselves a source of unease. In the very
moment of satisfaction there is the fear of its discontinuance and
of the insecurity of the next moment. And so the most intensive
effort is not directed to the satisfaction of the moment, but to the
continuation of that satisfaction.
Now, can continuation be achieved? There is obviously one way
to enjoy the continuation of happiness, and that is by the continuation
of my ‘self’. And thus, all striving and effort are directed
towards the extension and the projection of the ego. Without the
ego there can be no lasting satisfaction. But with the strengthening
of that ego there arises the conflict with other egos, with other interests.
Thus, the problem of conflict lies within the ‘self’; the problem
lies in the approach. Any positive approach is idealistic. Any kind
of striving has an end in view; and because it is viewed idealistically
even before an attempt is made, the goal remains within the
‘self’, which is the source of the conflict. Thus, the very attempt