Unexpected Freedom

Truly ComfortableShanghai to Beijing was cancelled. I found myself alone inthe airport without any money and with nowhere to stay. Itwas quite an ordeal, with teams of angry Chinese travellerscompeting for empty seats on later flights. Almost nobodyspoke English and they were not at all impressed with mycommitment to the holy-life! Eventually, after nearly losingmy passport and standing outside on the tarmac for a longtime in the freezing February night, I boarded a verycramped plane and made it to Beijing. But then our baggagewas mislaid, and it was not until two the following morningthat I got to bed. Meanwhile my friend had returned from ameeting in Hong Kong in which he had been subject to aflagrant betrayal of trust by a co-worker, and his flight hadalso been delayed. When we woke in the morning we bothhad sore throats and were thoroughly miserable. When webroached the matter of going to Kyoto it became obviousthat neither of us was feeling up to it. After so muchplanning and anticipation, the thought of not going shouldhave appeared unthinkable. With so much momentum Iexpected it to be so. But to my surprise and pleasure it wasperfectly thinkable. So we decided not to go to Japan.In meditation that evening I had such a happy feelingknowing that I didn’t have to get what I wanted. There wasa clear recognition that the pleasure that comes with thegratification of desire was inferior to the pleasure associatedwith the freedom of not having to get what I want. There isa verse in the Dhammapada that reads: ‘It is wisdom thatenables letting go of a lesser happiness in pursuit of a greaterhappiness.’ That evening I came a little closer tounderstanding this aspect of the Buddha’s wisdom. Asthings worked out, by the following morning we both feltfine again, made a dash for the airport and had a marvelloustime in Kyoto.111