Unexpected Freedom

No Blamesuffering. How we view our experience determines whetherwe live our lives blaming whenever we suffer, or whether,when suffering arises, we are strengthened in ourcommitment to being free.So what can we do? In our contemplation of falling inlove we investigated how, in the height of intensity andaliveness, we might tend to default to old ways ofcontracting the heart-awareness, thereby losing the beautyand freedom of ‘being loving’. We considered how thishappens as a result of our inability to accommodate thefullness of life with all its energy. This inability arises out ofhabitual fear, which results in our becoming chronicallylimited in our capacity for whole-hearted living. Instead ofbeing liberated by that which promises to give us everlastinghappiness, we end up spoiling it and becoming dependenton each other through attachment.Isn’t it similar with blaming? When we don’t get what wewant, or get what we don’t want, or lose that which weenjoyed having, we suffer the pain of disappointment,sorrow and despair. The energy flares up and we start toburn. Our initial reaction turns into indignation and rage.As the storm intensifies and moves upwards into our heads,we start imagining where we can place the blame. Througha perceived inability to hold the pain – like a volcano thatcannot be contained by the earth’s crust – our energy burstsout and lands on the object of our blame. Because thepressure of frustration feels intolerable, we project our heartenergyout.Just to notice this is to see the very point where thingscan change. If we have prepared ourselves for these reactionsit is possible that instead of becoming more rigid in ourclinging to what we want, we open up to accommodate thepassions. To prepare ourselves with this kind of67