Unexpected Freedom

Unexpected Freedomor unknowingly – to distraction and avoidance in order todelay looking at what is truly taking place. In both thehouseholders’ life and the monastic life there is the fullspectrum of commitment, from those who areenthusiastically committed to seeing what the reality of eachmoment is, to those occupied in distraction. What matters iswhether our lifestyle is true for us and whether it helps usdevelop increased willingness. Willingness is what matters.The reality, whatever our choice of lifestyle, is thatthroughout our life we have to face the evidence of ourlimitations. Whether we like it or not, we all experience notgetting our own way and becoming lost in habitualreactivity. When we come right up against thoseexperiences, how do we respond? Do we resist, saying, ‘Ishouldn’t be this way, I should be more clear about whereI’m going in my life;’ or is there the heart-capacity to meetthis person – me – in this experience of limitation in anunobstructed way?Encountering LonelinessTo speak personally, I can say that living as a monk has been adifficult choice but that I don’t have any regrets. I do regretsome of the ways I have handled certain situations in the pastbut I don’t regret having chosen to live the life of a monk. I feelvery privileged and fortunate to live this life, and the longer Ilive it the more that feeling grows. It’s fundamentally aboutliving in solitude and getting to know your aloneness. Yes,monks live together in community but in our togetherness weare alone. The structures of the life bring us to an intenserecognition of our aloneness and the agony of loneliness.For someone who lives the monastic life of a celibaterenunciate, loneliness is not considered as a symptom of158