Unexpected Freedom

Unexpected FreedomWe all know on some level that pleasure comes andgoes. If we maintain an awareness of this, then whenever wehave a pleasant experience we simply know that theexperience is agreeable. We do not become lost in or clingto the pleasure of that experience. For instance, in the lastfew weeks the weather here has been very agreeable indeed.As summer draws to a close and autumn arrives, living herein Northumberland can feel quite wonderful. Thefragrances of the countryside, the mellow colours of the latesummer evenings, the harvest, the blue sky, the birds andthe fruit are glorious. And with such nice people aroundand friendly visitors to the monastery, one can experience acomfortable, pleasant feeling of well-being. If there ispresence of mind in the moment, however, then when thereis this good feeling, there’s also a ‘knowingness’, anawareness of the pleasure in experience. And thisknowingness doesn’t detract from the pleasure.Just as we can define ourselves in terms of pleasure, wecan also do so through pain, with disagreeable physical oremotional sensations. For the Buddha-to-be, identifyinghimself with pleasurable sensations hadn’t liberated him, sohe thought that identifying himself with pain might do thejob. He became an ascetic. His self-mortification consistedin fasting, not drinking and even in not breathing forsustained periods of time, as well as other forms ofasceticism that increased the sense of physical frustration.Most of us don’t attempt the extremes of asceticism towhich the Buddha-to-be subjected himself, but we do muchthe same when we allow ourselves to become lost indepression or anger. I meet many people who for years havebeen dwelling in anger – their resentment is painful to see.These people may say they want to let go of their anger, but itis sometimes quite clear that they have a commitment to32