Unexpected Freedom

‘… and I know I should let go’could just let go as an act of will. As if we were purposefullyhanging on to things.It’s important to notice that idealising about how weshould be is not necessarily helpful. We know how we shouldbe, so that’s good enough. We can leave that aside and get onwith looking a little deeper, feeling how I can bring this about,and asking, ‘Why am I hanging on? What is the experience ofclinging anyway?’ This is the encouragement of rightmindfulness. Mindfulness is not about speculating abouthow we should or shouldn’t be, but about cultivating a qualityof attention that is in the moment, investigating the reality ofour experience. One of the reasons we are clinging is becausewe don’t see that the clinging is making us suffer. The Buddhasaid there are two reasons why you stay stuck in thismiserable affair of samsara: not seeing suffering, and notseeing the causes of suffering. For those two reasons alone,not for eighty-four thousand mysterious reasons. It’s notvery complicated.Taking Responsibility for our SufferingA lot of the time we try to avoid suffering, and pretend we’renot suffering when we are. On various levels, in subtle andgross ways, we are carrying different forms of suffering suchas fear, anxiety, worry, doubt, regret and remorse. Even if weacknowledge that we are suffering, it is not so easy andstraightforward to see what the cause is. Some of our habitsare very deeply embedded. The habit of dwelling onresentment is an example. If we haven’t truly enquired intothis domain of our life we can readily react to the feeling ofunhappiness as if it were somebody else’s fault. Even thoughwe know we have this tendency, it’s still very easy to fall intothis particular pattern of reaction.169