Unexpected Freedom

Unexpected FreedomChristian missionaries in their use of a particular word. TheThai Buddhists often discussed the importance of makingadhitthan, which is the Thai version of the Pali word adhitthana.In Theravadin Buddhism, adhitthana means aconscious determined intention to practise with effort anddedication. Thai Christians used this very same word –adhitthan – when they talked about prayer.My prayer life as a young person came with anunderstanding that there was some almighty authority outthere who was somehow responsible for everything thathappened, and that if you had a ticket you could get aprivileged relationship with this character, and he could dowhat you wanted – if you asked nicely. The Thai Buddhistsdon’t have that idea at all. That is not part of theirconception of reality. After a few years as a Buddhist monkI came to realise that, without having to believe I was talkingto an all-powerful figure who I had to obey and appease, Iwas able to give voice to the heart’s wishes in a genuinelymeaningful way.The heart longs to speak and be heard. Some of you maybe acquainted with the Bible where it says, in Psalm 130: ‘Outof the depths have I called unto thee, oh Lord. Lord hear myvoice: May Thine ears consider well the voice of mycomplaint.’ I believe that the heart’s longing to be heard ismost naturally served by engaging in prayer. For those of uswho were brought up as theists and learned to pray in thatcontext, but later, feeling unfulfilled, withdrew from thatform of religious expression, it can be an uncomfortable anddifficult prospect to begin to pray again. Picking up a prayerlife against the background of such associations can bringserious reservations, even fear. I recall having to deal with astrong fear that I might end up losing my faith as a Buddhistand return to being a theist. As things turned out, that132