Unexpected Freedom

Profoundly Simplethe effort to remember.” Little by little, with the right kindof effort, with consistent practice, as I am sure many of youhave realised, we can make a difference.It was not for another seven years until, wrapped in ablanket during a winter retreat in England, that I was ableto acknowledge more fully the relevance of what AjahnTate had said that evening. After that conversation I hadfallen into hell. The profound, amazing experience I hadhad during that evening had soon been followed byhorrendously unpleasant mind states, indescribablyterrible states of self-doubt. This is why I often speakabout how important it is to prepare oneself properly forpractice. At that time I hadn’t long been off the hippy trail.Only a few months before my time with Ajahn Tate I hadleft the commune in which I’d been living and hadhitchhiked across the Australian desert. After that, Iisland-hopped through Indonesia, stopping for a littlediving in Timor, batik-painting in Java, and then went onup through various beach resorts and restaurants inMalaysia to Thailand. And then, I found myself with ashaved head and in robes, doing this intensive practice. Idefinitely wasn’t properly prepared.Thanks to Ajahn Tate’s loving-kindness and consistentcaring attention, I survived those very unpleasant states. But itwas about seven years before I was able more fully to appreciatewhat he’d told me on that occasion. Now I encourage people tomake this effort to remember. Sometimes, when we forgetwhat we have learned, we can devalue experiences that we’vehad, effort we’ve made, insights that have arisen. Ajahn Chahhad an image for this. He’d say, “These moments ofmindfulness and understanding are like drips of water comingout of a tap. In the beginning it’s drip – drip – drip, with biggaps between the drips.” If we’re heedless during those gaps, if9