Unexpected Freedom

Contemplating Happinessstream of desire in our minds and our hearts. Such activity isquite exhausting. If we don’t choose to draw our attentioninwards and enquire into the nature of this active mind withits ideas and wantings then the way it appears to be is who andwhat we feel ourselves to be. We believe, even feel convinced,that the only way that we can be happy is by getting whatwe want.Some time ago I was told a story about a meditationstudent who lived in London and had a busy working life. I amnot sure I have the details about this story correct but it isworth telling for the sake of the principle. Unlike many wholive in London, this person had consciously decided to walk towork every day. Over a period of time she began to realise thatshe had developed a problem. As she walked to work shewould pass a particular French patisserie, and was unable towalk past without buying not just one but several pastries.The process of buying and eating these pastries stemmedfrom some inner compulsion rather than from any naturaldesire to satisfy hunger. Over a period of time she becameaware what was going on and yet, although she recognised it,she could not stop buying the pastries! This was a humiliatingexperience for her, because in many areas of practice she wasquite able. But when she came to walking past this pastryshop it all fell apart. One day, after acutely feeling theabsurdity and oppressiveness of the situation, she simplydecided to walk to work by another route. She made aresolution, a strong determination, that she would not walkpast the pastry shop. She made a gesture of renunciation.The student, feeling quite pleased about herself, reportedall this to her teacher, but the teacher said, “I’m afraid you’vemisunderstood the teaching – that isn’t the spirit of thepractice at all. The choice you have made to walk another wayis a strategy to avoid what is really going on. What you need185