Machshavot HaLev - Yeshivat Lev HaTorah

168
בלה תובשחמ
stage to find himself feeling estranged. But if at the point of weakness a person
wishes he could be accomplishing more, if gloom overtakes him because of his
religious infirmity, that too is appreciated by Hashem, sometimes more so than
actual ceremony.
Let us be clear, we are not advocating a life filled with religious longing and devoid
of any practice. Nor are we suggesting brooding and dwelling on our depression.
What we are suggesting is that a deeply rooted and sincere feeling of spiritual
craving can prod a person to accomplish religiously. Melancholy can be turned
into burning desire to fuel our service of God. It can push us to heights hitherto
uncharted. It is for this reason that Aharon’s depression was greater than the
sacrifices of the tribal ministers, for in his depression lay potential for a service of
God that none of the ministers could hope to achieve.
Let all of us who have ever tasted the sour taste of defeat in our avodat Hashem
not become paralyzed and allow ourselves to slouch towards religious apathy.
Let us use the sense of shame and defeat as a catalyst to cultivate concrete and
significant growth in our religious practice and bring us closer to Hashem.