Revolution Televised.pdf

98 This Ain’t No Junk
but tells her what a big fan he is, mentioning that he saw Stormy
Weather thirty-eight times. “Went in on a Saturday came out on a
Wednesday evening.” This is just the beginning of the joke or the
lie. With each line, Fred elaborates on an unbelievable story. He
tells her that he promised his son he would try to see her, that his
son is a big fan, and his mother used to sing “Stormy Weather” to
him when he was a baby. However, since she died, “Little Lamont”
has not been the same, and he doesn’t even go to school anymore.
When Lena asks why Lamont feels connected to her, Fred says that
she is the only one who can sing “Stormy Weather” like his mother.
Fred says that Lamont looks to her as a substitute mother. When
Lena asks why he did not bring Lamont and suggests that it might
be that Lamont is lame, Fred readily agrees, “Lame, that’s what he
is—lame.” He finally convinces her to visit “little lame Lamont” at
their house.
Fred invites all of his poolroom friends to see Lena and bets
each of them fifteen dollars that she will visit the house. When
Lena finally shows up at the house, looking for Little Lamont, she
discovers that Lamont is neither little nor lame. She is furious that
she stopped by on a lie and that she is going to miss her plane to
San Francisco, where she planned to raise money for Operation
Headstart. When Fred’s friends arrive and begin to pay off the bet,
Lena explodes, calling him a “low down, jiving, conniving . . .”
Fred cuts her off and turns the deteriorating situation around to
his benefit. He tells her that he bet them only to raise money for
Operation Headstart. Lena gives Fred a big kiss on the lips in gratitude,
leaving him reeling.
Like the trickster of African folklore, Fred is unsuccessful with
his plans in many instances. For example, in the episode “This Land
Is Whose Land?” (1974), Fred is aggravated by his neighbor Julio,
who is storing some of his junk on the Sanfords’ land with Lamont’s
permission. Fred objects to Lamont’s lenient ways.
sanford: I might accidentally sell some Puerto Rican junk. I might
wind up selling it to the guy it was stolen from.
lamont: Hey Pop, Julio’s junk is not stolen.
sanford: Then why is he hiding it over here in our yard? I want it
out of here.
lamont: What for? We got plenty of room.
sanford: But we won’t have if we don’t stop it now. That’s how