BILL CADY Word Count: 149,227 - At My Friend's Place

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Bill Cady, The Early Years … by Bill Cady 135 I have no idea who initiated the divorce, but the SWAG system, (Scientific Wild Assed Guess), tells me Betty threw his ass out. So, he and my Mom went before a JP sometime before I was born. Afterward, according to society, I was legitimate. I wasn‟t a bastard child. But, according to those in charge of the Catholic church, I was. I learned things weren‟t gonna change for me in that regard. Still, he must‟ve believed something, because Mom essentially had no religion when they met. Her family would allege themselves Lutherans, if asked, but they never went to church. It reminds me of the guy at a supermarket check-out lane. He saw a man in clerical clothing and asked if he was from a nearby church. The religious man said, “Why, yes. I‟m Father Murphy. I‟m the priest at St. Thomas Church, just a few blocks down.” The other fellow said, “Really? Heck, that‟s my church.” Father Murphy was a bit confused. “You say it‟s your church? I‟ve been the pastor there for seven years, and I don‟t recall ever seeing you at services.” The other guy merely shrugged. “Hey, I never said I was a fanatic.” Still, that David thing and I were raised Catholic. My folks spent money they needed for other things on our tuition. We went to church every Sunday, and Mom always had us fill in our tithing envelopes, including a fifty cent piece. It‟s equal to more than $10 in today‟s money. They also put money in. To tell you how lecherous the church became, they once posted a listing in the annual church bulletin with the names of every family in the parish. Next to those names, they showed the amount tithed by that family the previous year. Leviticus, Limited 33-0505963
Bill Cady, The Early Years … by Bill Cady 136 Can you believe anyone would be that low? Oddly enough, although it infuriated “Fast Fred”, he and Mom retaliated in a way far more passive than I‟d‟ve elected. They kept on contributing the same as before, but did it in cash and stopped using the envelopes with their code number. Fast forward to my age twenty-seven, a year where I did another stupid thing by jumping out of my first marriage and beating Cher‟s record to remarry. She was single four days after divorcing Sonny Bono before she married Gregg Alman. I was single three days when I married Nancy, the mother of my children. My parents came to me with a request shortly after we married. Would I be willing to be their best man? They were getting married in the Catholic church. You‟ve gotta be shitting me! It was all I could say, but they weren‟t. I did some checking to find out why. It seems people had been leaving that church, in deed, if not in name, in droves. Tithing was down. Way down. So, in order to boost their income, they recalled their castaway members. My parents had to get letters from people testifying why they thought this man and woman should be married, for Christ‟s sake. Grandma Thurston wrote, “So my grandchildren won‟t be bastards anymore” in her letter. During the waiting period, (yup, they had all the hocus pocus you could ask for), Mom went to catechism classes and studied hard. She was admitted to the Catholic Church and was happy afterward. She even made a faint effort to coax her oldest son, Bill, into rejoining the Catholic Church. Apparently she didn‟t like all the laughter it got her, so Mom soon desisted in her efforts. ### Leviticus, Limited 33-0505963
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BILL CADY Word Count: 149,227 - At My Friend's Place

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