BILL CADY Word Count: 149,227 - At My Friend's Place

Bill Cady, The Early Years … by Bill Cady 38
luck as far as tormenting me at dinner. The bad news, they had to carve out a lot of bone
in my sinus passages. To this day, if I‟m not careful, I can get food in my nose when I‟m
eating. Let me tell you, corn on the cob takes on a different value when you end up
sneezing it out.
There was yet more medical treatment in my future. Lucky Billy, huh?
I was in the fifth grade at Holy Cross parochial school. We were getting ready for
the intramural football league. It consisted of teams from all the churches in Lansing.
Catholic churches, that is. They coerced parish members who were doctors to give us all
free physicals to make sure we didn‟t need open heart surgery, (it hadn‟t yet been
invented), or an elbow transplant, or anything else. The doctor, an old guy with a ring of
white hair surrounding a scalp that nearly blinded me, stuck his fingers down by my
scrotum.
I didn‟t like hearing that word. When someone was a real butthead, we‟d call him
a scrotum. Still, the guy was a doctor. One level above God, as far as I‟d been told, so I
kept quiet. I started to wonder when he kept at it, sitting on the bench and feeling me up,
for so long. I wondered if he was doing something to me he wasn‟t really supposed to
do. Mom always said not to let anyone but Dad or a doctor touch me there. I decided to
keep quiet, though. After all, he was a doctor.
Mom couldn‟t chew my butt this time. I was following her orders.
He gave me a piece of paper in an envelope after writing a note. Told me to give
it to my parents. I almost didn‟t. I figured it‟d mean my sorry little ass was in trouble for
something. I had no idea what I might‟ve done wrong. Then, afraid she‟d catch me
anyway, meaning even more trouble for Billy, I gave Mom the note.
Leviticus, Limited 33-0505963