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BILL CADY Word Count: 149,227 - At My Friend's Place

BILL CADY Word Count: 149,227 - At My Friend's Place

BILL CADY Word Count: 149,227 - At My Friend's Place

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Bill Cady, The Early Years … by Bill Cady 263<br />

Go ahead, ladies. Check with the guy closest to you. Ask him if his mother,<br />

daughter, or sister has sex, and he‟ll swear they don‟t. As to a blowjob, not one of those<br />

women would even consider something so disgusting. While I‟m sure every man here<br />

loves a good blowjob, we all know damned good and well which women would never do<br />

anything like that for any guy.<br />

Well, my illusions were shattered. Mom was having a tube steak dinner, by golly,<br />

and I flat outright wanted to puke! That shit ain‟t supposed to happen! Not in what we<br />

call a civilized society! Damn it, anyone else, but not my Mom! Jesus, the whole thing<br />

about made me sick!<br />

Thankfully, I had a solution. Deciding I was, by no means, even close to drunk<br />

enough, I went out and finished the job. I got so shitfaced I could barely remember my<br />

name was John Lee Carver.<br />

Wait a minute. That was the name on the draft card I had when I was fifteen. <strong>My</strong><br />

name is shit, don‟t say anything. It‟ll come to me.<br />

Yeah, I was that bad. I think it was around eleven when I stopped at the house<br />

and witnessed the heinous debauchery I encountered. When I came back around three, I<br />

was as plowed as any farmer‟s field can ever get. Stinko. I damned near fell on my face<br />

when I opened the front door, then stood there swaying a minute until the room got off<br />

those ball bearings and stopped spinning. I figured it was a new alarm system to confuse<br />

burglars, making the room tilt and swirl in circles like a merry-go-round.<br />

To no one‟s surprise, my old man was in the kitchen, drinking coffee and smoking<br />

cigarettes, waiting for me. I can‟t honestly tell you what he said, or what I might‟ve said,<br />

because I was that shitfaced. However, I was mad at him. Damned mad, and I‟d‟ve had<br />

Leviticus, Limited 33-0505963

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