25 Biggest Mistakes Teachers Make and How to Avoid Them

74 Teacher–Student Relations
SCENARIO 11.4
Girls Will Be Girls
My two best friends and I were in music class and while the teacher wasn’t looking, we
wrote the names of the boys we liked all over the chairs. After music, we returned to
our separate classrooms and went on with our business. At the time, they were constructing
a new building with classrooms, so the two sixth-grade classes were in a
portable building separated by a wall and a door that could open up to both sides.
About thirty minutes later, our music teacher opened the door and stood in the middle
of the classrooms. She told both our teachers she needed to see me and my two
best friends, and the three boys whose names we wrote on the chairs. All of us had to
go to the music room, and the boys sat there while we cleaned the chairs off. When
we were done, we returned to class and everybody knew what happened. How
embarrassing!
Three young female students,
under the influence of cupid’s
sting, felt compelled to express their
love by writing the names of their
love interests all over the chairs in
their music class. Unfortunately, writing
all over the chairs is the willful
defacing of school property, which
can be considered vandalism. The
teacher was taking appropriate action
by insisting the girls return to the
class and clean up the chairs. She
overstepped her boundaries when
she demanded that the young men
named on the chairs come and watch
the young women clean up. The
teacher’s motives were suspect. What
was her purpose, to correct undesirable
behavior or to evoke shame?
Understanding teachers are
aware of the preteen period where
young girls develop secret crushes.
The crushes are secret because the
girls are so immature that they don’t
quite know what to do with their
newly acquired love feelings. Most
girls find harmless outlets such as
diaries and telephone conversations.
Crushes are an important dimension
of a young girl’s psychosocial development
that should be respected.
Sensitive teachers would have punished
the girls’ undesirable behavior
while respecting their privacy and
keeping their dignity intact. These
teachers know that students should
be punished for their offensive
behavior but not for their feelings.
Prudent teachers would not pull the
young men from their classes to participate
in the shaming of the young
women. The young men were unwilling,
unknowing players in the young
women’s little escapade; there was no
reason for them to be present. If the
girls had written teachers’ names all
over the chairs, would the music
teacher insist that the teachers come
and watch the girls clean up? I have
my doubts.