Here - Health Promotion Agency

Your own life
Some mothers find the
answer to feeling lonely
and cut off is to take a job.
It’s not always easy to find
the right sort of work with
the right sort of hours, or to
make childcare
arrangements. But if you
feel that work outside the
home could help,
read the Going back to
work section.
‘At first I hated leaving her.
It was much more upsetting
than I’d thought – but more
for me than for her, really.
I’m better about it now,
especially as time goes by and
I can see that she’s happy
and well looked after and I’ve
got to know and like the
person who cares for her. But
I don’t think you can ever
feel completely right about it.
So you just have to live with
that and get on with it.’
‘There’s no doubt it’s hard
work. I mean, there’s no
evenings off, because it’s then
that we have to get all the
jobs done round the house.
To my mind, families where
there’s one parent at home all
the time have it very easy in
comparison.’
‘I enjoy the job. It’s nothing
much, but it earns money
we need, and it gets me out
and makes me do things I’d
not do otherwise. I think I’m
a better parent for doing it.
I like having contact with
people other than mothers.
And Darren gets to meet
other children, and he thrives
on that.’
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with whom to share the ups and
downs of being a parent will help
you to cope with the difficult times
and make the good times better.
•
Ask your health visitor for
information about postnatal groups,
mother and baby groups, parent
and toddler groups, and playgroups.
These may be advertised on the
clinic noticeboard.
• Chat with other mothers at your
baby or child health clinic.
•
Talk to your health visitor and ask
for an introduction to other new
mothers living nearby.
• MAMA, Home-Start, the National
Childbirth Trust, and many other
local organisations, sometimes based
in a church or temple, run local groups
where you can meet other people,
chat, relax and get a lot of support.
G OING BACK
TO WORK
Most mothers go back to work at some
point. About half do so before their
children start school. It may help to
talk to other working mothers. But
also try to decide what’s right for you
and your family. (For information about
childcare, see pages 47–50.) You’ll
need to think about the following.
•
Feeding – if your baby is still
breastfeeding, try to get him or her
used to taking milk from a bottle or
cup before you return to work. If you
need help with combining work and
feeding, discuss it with your health
visitor, the National Childbirth
Trust, La Lèche League, or the
Association of Breastfeeding Mothers
(see page 147). You can express
milk to leave for feeds. It’s also
possible to give your baby formula
milk in the middle of the day and
still breastfeed the rest of the time.
•
Childcare arrangements – must
be as simple as possible to work
smoothly and avoid a lot of strain.
You also have to be reasonably sure
they’ll go on working effectively
over time.
•
Paying for childcare – can you
afford to pay for childcare out of
what you earn? Can you find work
that you can do while your partner is
at home? Can you fit work into
school hours? Can a relation help
out on occasion? Have you checked
all the benefits and tax credit help
you may be entitled to?
•
Housework – when and who’ll
do it? If you have a partner you
need to talk about how you’ll
divide responsibilities for
housework and childcare.
•
Making time for your child –
even the best childcare isn’t a
substitute for a parent. Children
need to know that they’re special.
If you work long hours during
the week, can you or your partner
keep your weekends free? If you
don’t see your child in the day,
can they stay up later in the
evening and sleep longer during
the day? You may be able to work
flexi-time, part-time or a four-day
week, and make a special time to
be with your child.