Here - Health Promotion Agency

Learning and playing
H OW TO MAKE SURE YOUR
CHILD LEARNS WHAT YOU
WANT HIM OR HER TO LEARN
When children play they’re learning
what they want. Often these will
also be the things you want them to
learn, but for some things they may
need extra encouragement, like
using the potty (see page 52),
washing or dressing themselves,
learning what not to touch and
where it’s not safe to run. It’s worth
thinking about how you do it.
•
Wait until you think your child
is ready. Forcing something too
soon usually ends in failure. You
get cross and upset, your child
gets cross and upset, and the
whole thing becomes impossible.
If it doesn’t work out, leave it for
a few weeks and try again.
•
Try not to make it seem too
important. Your child may learn
to eat with a spoon because it’s
fun but still want to be fed when
he or she is tired, or may enjoy
the first few times on the potty
because you’re so pleased and
then get bored with the idea. In
time he or she will see that it is
worthwhile learning to be more
grown-up and independent.
•
Keep it safe. If your child is
under three years old, he or she
can’t really understand why not to
touch your stereo or pull leaves
off your pot plants, so keep things
you don’t want touched well out
of the way and you’ll both be less
frustrated. Time enough to learn
about not touching when your
child can understand why.
•
Be encouraging. Your happiness
is your child’s best reward for good
behaviour. If you give your child a
big smile, a cuddle or praise when
he or she does something right,
your child is much more likely to
try doing it again. Giving your
child attention and praise for
doing something right works
much better than telling him or
her off for doing something wrong.
•
Don’t ask for perfection or for
instant success. It’s safest to expect
everything to take much longer
than you’d hoped.
•
Set an example. Whatever it
may look like, your child does
want to be like you and do what
you do. So seeing you wash in the
bath, brush your teeth or use the
toilet does help.
•
Avoid fuss and confrontation.
Once something gets blown up, it
can take longer and be much more
difficult for everybody to calm down.
•
Be firm. Children need you to
decide some things for them, and
need you to stick to your
decisions. They need some firm
guidelines. So try not to waver.
You might start something like
potty training, decide your child
isn’t ready, and give up for a
while. That’s fine. But a child
who is in nappies one day, out the
next and back in them the next is
bound to get confused.
•
Be consistent. For the same
reason, it’s important that
everybody involved in looking
after your child is teaching more
or less the same things in more or
less the same way. If you and your
partner, or you and your
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