View - The Municipality of Lambton Shores

Dear Respected Members of Lambton Shores Council:
My name is Joe Palko, I live in Sarnia, I am an early retiree from Nova
Chemicals Ltd., and I am a trained Facilitator in group processes and group dynamics. I
have trained over 1600 individuals in Interpersonal Skills workshops which focus on the
techniques of giving and receiving feedback and conflict resolution. I read the attached
article on Tuesday and was dismayed not so much as to the content as the potential
process for addressing the issues. Prior to committing to spend any funds for resolving
issues via a consultant, please spend time defining what it is you specifically want to
address and change.
In reading the article and the comments from some of your members, it is quite
obvious that there are a number of conflicts among the members - there are no
personality conflicts. If you spend time really digging deep into the situation, I would bet
my salary, you will find there are some critical issues between certain members that
keep getting in the way and remain unresolved. It is not enough to "get it all out." There
needs to be resolution and commitment to follow through on the commitments. What
people generally classify as 'personality conflicts' are really a large number of
expectation conflicts not being addressed and resolved.
In regards to Councillor John Russell's comment about "I don’t want to sit
around a table and do Kumbaya” is answered in his next statement. "I really don't care."
Therein is a basic problem in any relationship and group. If someone doesn't care,
nothing will change. Caring about relationships is a basic quality of developing the
relationship cycle. Councillor Russell at least expressed it. I am sure there are others on
the Council who feel the same way. And by the way, true team building is anything but
doing Kumbaya - most people are reluctant to team building exercises because they
feel vulnerable and it is one of the toughest thing you can do, if you do it right. It takes
dedication, commitment and strength to be a real team.
The situation on your Council is not as serious as one may think. Once people
start to discuss and address their issues, it's amazing how simple resolution can be, as
long as everyone is willing to be adult enough to discuss and resolve conflicts. In my
opinion, here are some things that you should consider:
1. People need to understand the Relationship Cycle (how relationships are developed
and maintained) and how they personally either enhance or impair their own
relationships.
2. The fundamentals of any relationship are: caring, openness, self-disclosure,
authenticity, self- disclosure, and willingness to give and receive feedback.
3. Groups/teams need to establish expectations, codes of conduct and processes for
dealing with issues.
4. Process is 'how' you do things; content is 'what' you are dealing with; and feelings
are your 'triggers and gauges' of how well thing are going.
253