CHECK Berlin / Brandenburg #5

ENGLISH
COUNSELLING
TRAUMA COUNSELLING
for men*
Interview: Torsten Schwick
The HILFE-FÜR-JUNGS e.V.
association has existed since
1994. The sponsor now organises
three different projects,
with MUT - trauma counselling
for men* as one of them.
We spoke to Lukas Weber,
managing director of
HILFE-FÜR-JUNGS e.V.
What exactly is trauma counselling? In which
situations do men* come to you needing help?
Ultimately, it is always about the topic of
sexual violence, which is a very broad term. We
welcome everyone who has experienced sexual
violence in their childhood or adulthood. But
that doesn‘t necessarily have to be an issue
in our discussions. We are not therapists that
help you to access the trauma: our aim is to
help you stabilize it. This means that people
decide for themselves the pace at which they
want to work. In most cases it is about orientation,
stress relief and self-awareness. Our
clients often have to struggle with everyday
problems that result from stressful experiences.
For most of them, it is more about finding
out why the partnership is not working, why
they have so much stress at work and how all
of this may have been triggered by the aspects
of violence they have experienced.
Sexual violence against boys or men is still
a taboo subject. What exactly do you think is
the problem here?
As for the taboo, first and foremost the
problem is our society. It has a lot to do with
notions of masculinity. Men* often live with
the impression that they are weak or not manly
enough if they seek help.
How is a man* affected by the sexual violence
they have experienced?
It can have massive effects on everyday life:
you don‘t feel you belong to society, you don‘t
feel male. You feel compelled to fulfill ideals
of masculinity but you cannot. In principle, of
course, it doesn‘t matter whether you meet
these requirements. But for many people this
is a big issue. This can be made worse if their
social environment reacts very defensively
and thinks that men* cannot experience
sexualised violence. Many suffer from the
fact that they actually have no one to talk to
in their social environment because nobody
takes it seriously or nobody wants to see it.
Or because they just dismiss it and say that it
only happens to women. Men* are afraid of being
portrayed as victims. Some fear that they
will be considered gay even though they may
be straight. This should of course no longer
82 CHECK BERLIN/BRANDENBURG #5