Burlesques William Makepeace Thackeray

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and jest as I came back for my baysn of soop, the beast of a bell rings, the whizzling injians
proclayms the time of our departure,—& farewell soop and cottn velvet. Mary Hann was
sulky. She said it was my losing the umberella. If it had been a COTTON VELVET
UMBERELLA I could have understood. James Hangelo sittn on my knee was evidently
unwell; without his coral: & for 20 miles that blessid babby kep up a rawring, which caused
all the passingers to simpithize with him igseedingly.
"We arrive at Gloster, and there fansy my disgust at bein ableeged to undergo another
change of carridges! Fansy me holding up moughs, tippits, cloaks, and baskits, and James
Hangelo rawring still like mad, and pretending to shuperintend the carrying over of our
luggage from the broad gage to the narrow gage. 'Mary Hann,' says I, rot to desperation, 'I
shall throttle this darling if he goes on.' 'Do,' says she—'and GO INTO THE
REFRESHMENT room,' says she—a snatchin the babby out of my arms. Do go,' says she,
youre not fit to look after luggage,' and she began lulling James Hangelo to sleep with one
hi, while she looked after the packets with the other. Now, Sir! if you please, mind that
packet!—pretty darling—easy with that box, Sir, its glass—pooooty poppet—where's the
deal case, marked arrowroot, No. 24?' she cried, reading out of a list she had.—And poor
little James went to sleep. The porters were bundling and carting the various harticles with
no more ceremony than if each package had been of cannonball.
"At last—bang goes a package marked 'Glass,' and containing the Chayny bowl and Lady
Bareacres' mixture, into a large white bandbox, with a crash and a smash. 'It's My Lady's
box from Crinoline's!' cries Mary Hann; and she puts down the child on the bench, and
rushes forward to inspect the dammidge. You could hear the Chayny bowls clinking inside;
and Lady B.'s mixture (which had the igsack smell of cherry brandy) was dribbling out over
the smashed bandbox containing a white child's cloak, trimmed with Blown lace and lined
with white satting.
"As James was asleep, and I was by this time uncommon hungry, I thought I WOULD go
into the Refreshment Room and just take a little soup; so I wrapped him up in his cloak and
laid him by his mamma, and went off. There's not near such good attendance as at
Swindon.
"We took our places in the carriage in the dark, both of us covered with a pile of packages,
and Mary Hann so sulky that she would not speak for some minutes. At last she spoke
out—
"'Have you all the small parcels?'