Burlesques William Makepeace Thackeray

60
"I believe, your Excellency, Tatua has done good service elsewhere than at Quebec," the
King said, appealing to the American Envoy: "at Bunker's Hill, at Brandywine, at York
Island? Now that Lafayette and my brave Frenchmen are among you, your Excellency need
have no fear but that the war will finish quickly—yes, yes, it will finish quickly. They will
teach you discipline, and the way to conquer."
"King Louis of France," said the Envoy, clapping his hat down over his head, and putting
his arms a-kimbo, "we have learned that from the British, to whom we are superior in
everything: and I'd have your Majesty to know that in the art of whipping the world we
have no need of any French lessons. If your reglars jine General Washington, 'tis to larn
from HIM how Britishers are licked; for I'm blest if YU know the way yet."
Tatua said, "Ugh," and gave a rattle with the butt of his carabine, which made the timid
monarch start; the eyes of the lovely Antoinette flashed fire, but it played round the head of
the dauntless American Envoy harmless as the lightning which he knew how to conjure
away.
The King fumbled in his pocket, and pulled out a Cross of the Order of the Bath. "Your
Excellency wears no honor," the monarch said; "but Tatua, who is not a subject, only an
ally, of the United States, may. Noble Tatua, I appoint you Knight Companion of my noble
Order of the Bath. Wear this cross upon your breast in memory of Louis of France;" and the
King held out the decoration to the Chief.
Up to that moment the Chief's countenance had been impassible. No look either of
admiration or dislike had appeared upon that grim and war-painted visage. But now, as
Louis spoke, Tatua's face assumed a glance of ineffable scorn, as, bending his head, he took
the bauble.
"I will give it to one of my squaws," he said. "The papooses in my lodge will play with it.
Come, Medecine, Tatua will go and drink fire-water;" and, shouldering his carabine, he
turned his broad back without ceremony upon the monarch and his train, and disappeared
down one of the walks of the garden. Franklin found him when his own interview with the
French Chief Magistrate was over; being attracted to the spot where the Chief was, by the
crack of his well-known rifle. He was laughing in his quiet way. He had shot the Colonel of
the Swiss Guards through his cockade.
Three days afterwards, as the gallant frigate, the "Repudiator," was sailing out of Brest
Harbor, the gigantic form of an Indian might be seen standing on the binnacle in
conversation with Commodore Bowie, the commander of the noble ship. It was Tatua, the
Chief of the Nose-rings.