Burlesques William Makepeace Thackeray

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"'My boy! my little boy!' says poor choking Mary Hann, when we got there. 'A parcel in a
blue cloak?' says the man. 'No body claimed him here, and so we sent him back by the mail.
An Irish nurse here gave him some supper, and he's at Paddington by this time. Yes,' says
he, looking at the clock, 'he's been there these ten minutes.'
"But seeing my poor wife's distracted histarricle state, this good-naterd man says, 'I think,
my dear, there's a way to ease your mind. We'll know in five minutes how he is.'
"'Sir,' says she, 'don't make sport of me.'
"'No, my dear, we'll TELEGRAPH him.'
"And he began hopparating on that singlar and ingenus elecktricle inwention, which
aniliates time, and carries intellagence in the twinkling of a peg-post.
"'I'll ask,' says he, 'for child marked G. W. 273.'
"Back comes the telegraph with the sign, 'All right.'
"'Ask what he's doing, sir,' says my wife, quite amazed. Back comes the answer in a Jiffy—
"'C. R. Y. I. N. G.'
"This caused all the bystanders to laugh excep my pore Mary Hann, who pull'd a very sad
face.
"The good-naterd feller presently said, 'he'd have another trile;' and what d'ye think was the
answer? I'm blest if it wasn't—
"'P. A. P.'
"He was eating pap! There's for you—there's a rogue for you—there's a March of Intaleck!
Mary Hann smiled now for the fust time. 'He'll sleep now,' says she. And she sat down with
a full hart.
"If hever that good-naterd Shooperintendent comes to London, HE need never ask for his
skore at the 'Wheel of Fortune Otel,' I promise you—where me and my wife and James
Hangelo now is; and where only yesterday a gent came in and drew this pictur* of us in our
bar.