Burlesques William Makepeace Thackeray

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was in the field, it was said that in the harem he was the veriest craven alive, completely
subjugated by his ugly and odious wife. In all matters of importance the late Bahawder had
been consulted by his prince, who had, as it appears, (knowing my character, and not caring
to do anything rash in his attack upon so formidable an enemy,) sent forward the
unfortunate Pitan to reconnoitre the fort; he was to have done yet more, as I learned from
the attendant Puneeree Muckun, who was, I soon found out, an old favorite with the
Bobbachy—doubtless on account of his honesty and love of repartee.
"The Bahawder's lips are closed," said he, at last, trotting up to me; "has he not a word for
old Puneeree Muckun?"
"Bismillah, mashallah, barikallah," said I; which means, "My good friend, what I have seen
is not worth the trouble of relation, and fills my bosom with the darkest forebodings."
"You could not then see the Gujputi alone, and stab him with your dagger?"
[Here was a pretty conspiracy!] "No, I saw him, but not alone; his people were always with
him."
"Hurrumzadeh! it is a pity; we waited but the sound of your jogree (whistle), and
straightway would have galloped up and seized upon every man, woman, and child in the
fort: however, there are but a dozen men in the garrison, and they have not provision for
two days—they must yield; and then hurrah for the moon-faces! Mashallah! I am told the
soldiers who first get in are to have their pick. How my old woman, Rotee Muckun, will be
surprised when I bring home a couple of Feringhee wives,—ha! ha!"
"Fool!" said I, "be still!—twelve men in the garrison! there are twelve hundred! Gahagan
himself is as good as a thousand men; and as for food, I saw with my own eyes five
hundred bullocks grazing in the court-yard as I entered." This WAS a bouncer, I confess;
but my object was to deceive Puneeree Muckun, and give him as high a notion as possible
of the capabilities of defence which the besieged had.
"Pooch, pooch," murmured the men; "it is a wonder of a fortress: we shall never be able to
take it until our guns come up."
There was hope then! they had no battering-train. Ere this arrived, I trusted that Lord Lake
would hear of our plight, and march down to rescue us. Thus occupied in thought and
conversation, we rode on until the advanced sentinel challenged us, when old Puneeree
gave the word, and we passed on into the centre of Holkar's camp.
It was a strange—a stirring sight! The camp-fires were lighted; and round them—eating,
reposing, talking, looking at the merry steps of the dancing-girls, or listening to the stories