Burlesques William Makepeace Thackeray

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In the midst of these entertainments, our old friend the Count of Hombourg arrived at the
castle. The stalwart old warrior swore by Saint Bugo that he was grieved the killing of the
Rowski had been taken out of his hand. The laughing Cleves vowed by Saint Bendigo,
Hombourg could never have finished off his enemy so satisfactorily as the unknown knight
had just done.
But who was he? was the question which now agitated the bosom of these two old nobles.
How to find him—how to reward the champion and restorer of the honor and happiness of
Cleves? They agreed over supper that he should be sought for everywhere. Beadles were
sent round the principal cities within fifty miles, and the description of the knight
advertised, in the Journal de Francfort and the Allgemeine Zeitung. The hand of the
Princess Helen was solemnly offered to him in these advertisements, with the reversion of
the Prince of Cleves's splendid though somewhat dilapidated property.
"But we don't know him, my dear papa," faintly ejaculated that young lady. "Some
impostor may come in a suit of plain armor, and pretend that he was the champion who
overcame the Rowski (a prince who had his faults certainly, but whose attachment for me I
can never forget); and how are you to say whether he is the real knight or not? There are so
many deceivers in this world," added the Princess, in tears, "that one can't be too cautious
now." The fact is, that she was thinking of the desertion of Otto in the morning; by which
instance of faithlessness her heart was wellnigh broken.
As for that youth and his comrade Wolfgang, to the astonishment of everybody at their
impudence, they came to the archers' mess that night, as if nothing had happened; got their
supper, partaking both of meat and drink most plentifully; fell asleep when their comrades
began to describe the events of the day, and the admirable achievements of the unknown
warrior; and turning into their hammocks, did not appear on parade in the morning until
twenty minutes after the names were called.
When the Prince of Cleves heard of the return of these deserters he was in a towering
passion. "Where were you, fellows," shouted he, "during the time my castle was at its
utmost need?"
Otto replied, "We were out on particular business."
"Does a soldier leave his post on the day of battle, sir?" exclaimed the Prince. "You know
the reward of such—Death! and death you merit. But you are a soldier only of yesterday,
and yesterday's victory has made me merciful. Hanged you shall not be, as you merit—only
flogged, both of you. Parade the men, Colonel Tickelstern, after breakfast, and give these
scoundrels five hundred apiece."