Burlesques William Makepeace Thackeray

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I had nothing for it but to mount the dustman's donkey (which was very quietly cropping
grass in the hedge), and to make my way home; and after a weary, weary journey, I arrived
at my own gate.
A whole party was assembled there. Tagrag, who had come back; their Excellencies Mace
and Punter, who were on a visit; and a number of horses walking up and down before the
whole of the gentlemen of the hunt, who had come in after losing their fox! "Here's Squire
Coxe!" shouted the grooms. Out rushed the servants, out poured the gents of the hunt, and
on trotted poor me, digging into the donkey, and everybody dying with laughter at me.
Just as I got up to the door, a horse came galloping up, and passed me; a man jumped
down, and taking off a fantail hat, came up, very gravely, to help me down.
"Squire," says he, "how came you by that there hanimal? Jist git down, will you, and give it
to its howner?"
"Rascal!" says I, "didn't you ride off on my horse?"
"Was there ever sich ingratitude?" says the Spicy. "I found this year 'oss in a pond, I saves
him from drowning, I brings him back to his master, and he calls me a rascal!"
The grooms, the gents, the ladies in the balcony, my own servants, all set up a roar at this;
and so would I, only I was so deucedly ashamed, as not to be able to laugh just then.
And so my first day's hunting ended. Tagrag and the rest declared I showed great pluck,
and wanted me to try again; but "No," says I, "I HAVE been."
THE FINISHING TOUCH.
I was always fond of billiards: and, in former days, at Grogram's in Greek Street, where a
few jolly lads of my acquaintance used to meet twice a week for a game, and a snug pipe
and beer, I was generally voted the first man of the club; and could take five from John the
marker himself. I had a genius, in fact, for the game; and now that I was placed in that
station of life where I could cultivate my talents, I gave them full play, and improved
amazingly. I do say that I think myself as good a hand as any chap in England.