Burlesques William Makepeace Thackeray

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were in wrongful possession of my father's estates. You must remember that when, on
examination of my father's papers, no will was found, I yielded up his property, with
perfect willingness, to those who I fancied were his legitimate heirs. For this I received all
sorts of insults from your wife and yourself (who acquiesced in them); and when the
discovery of a will, in India, proved MY just claims, you must remember how they were
met, and the vexatious proceedings with which you sought to oppose them.
"I have discharged your lawyer's bill; and, as I believe you are more fitted for the trade you
formerly exercised than for any other, I will give five hundred pounds for the purchase of a
stock and shop, when you shall find one to suit you.
"I enclose a draft for twenty pounds to meet your present expenses. You have, I am told, a
son, a boy of some spirit: if he likes to try his fortune abroad, and go on board an Indiaman,
I can get him an appointment; and am, Sir, your obedient servant,
"JOHN TUGGERIDGE"
It was Mrs. Breadbasket, the housekeeper, who brought this letter, and looked mighty
contemptuous as she gave it.
"I hope, Breadbasket, that your master will send me my things at any rate," cries Jemmy.
"There's seventeen silk and satin dresses, and a whole heap of trinkets, that can be of no
earthly use to him."
"Don't Breadbasket me, mem, if you please, mem. My master says that them things is quite
obnoxious to your sphere of life. Breadbasket, indeed!" And so she sailed out.
Jemmy hadn't a word; she had grown mighty quiet since we have been in misfortune: but
my daughter looked as happy as a queen; and Tug, when he heard of the ship, gave a jump
that nearly knocked down poor Orlando. "Ah, I suppose you'll forget me now?" says he
with a sigh; and seemed the only unhappy person in company.
"Why, you conceive, Mr. Crump," says my wife, with a great deal of dignity, "that,
connected as we are, a young man born in a work—"
"Woman!" cried I (for once in my life determined to have my own way), "hold your foolish
tongue. Your absurd pride has been the ruin of us hitherto; and, from this day, I'll have no
more of it. Hark ye, Orlando, if you will take Jemimarann, you may have her; and if you'll
take five hundred pounds for a half-share of the shop, they're yours; and THAT'S for you,
Mrs. Cox."