Burlesques William Makepeace Thackeray

50
Welthen. Some time in the seazen of 18— (mor I dar not rewheel) there arrived in this
metropulus, per seknd class of the London and Dover Railway, an ellygant young foring
gentleman, whom I shall danomminate Munseer Jools De Chacabac.
Having read through "The Vicker of Wackfield" in the same oridganal English tung in
which this very harticle I write is wrote too, and halways been remarkyble, both at collidge
and in the estamminy, for his aytred and orror of perfidgus Halbion, Munseer Jools was
considered by the prapriretors of the newspaper in which he wrote, at Parris, the very man
to come to this country, igsamin its manners and customs, cast an i upon the politticle and
finalshle stat of the Hempire, and igspose the mackynations of the infyamous Palmerston,
and the ebomminable Sir Pill—both enemies of France; as is every other Britten of that
great, gloarus, libberal, and peasable country. In one word, Jools de Chacabac was a pennya-liner.
"I will go see with my own I's," he said, "that infimus hiland of which the innabitants are
shopkeepers, gorged with roast beef and treason. I will go and see the murderers of the
Hirish, the pisoners of the Chynese, the villians who put the Hemperor to death in
Saintyleany, the artful dodges who wish to smother Europe with their cotton, and can't
sleep or rest heasy for henvy and hatred of the great inwinsable French nation. I will
igsammin, face to face, these hotty insularies; I will pennytrate into the secrets of their
Jessywhittickle cabinet, and beard Palmerston in his denn." When he jumpt on shor at
Foaxton (after having been tremenguously sick in the fourcabbing), he exclaimed, "Enfin je
te tiens, Ile maudite! je te crache a la figure, vieille Angleterre! Je te foule a mes pieds an
nom du monde outrage," and so proseaded to inwade the metropulus.
As he wisht to micks with the very chicest sosiaty, and git the best of infamation about this
country, Munseer Jools of coarse went and lodgd in Lester Square—Lester Squarr, as he
calls it—which, as he was infommed in the printed suckular presented to him by a very
greasy but polite comishner at the Custumus Stares, was in the scenter of the town,
contiggus to the Ouses of Parlyment, the prinsple theayters, the parx, St. Jams Pallice, and
the Corts of Lor. "I can surwhey them all at one cut of the eye," Jools thought; "the
Sovring, the infamus Ministers plotting the destruction of my immortial country; the
business and pleasure of these pusprond Londoners and aristoxy; I can look round and see
all." So he took a three-pair back in a French hotel, the "Hotel de l'Ail," kep by Monsieur
Gigotot, Cranbourne Street, Lester Squarr, London.
In this otell there's a billiard-room on the first floor, and a tabble-doat at eighteenpence
peredd at 5 o'clock; and the landlord, who kem into Jools's room smoaking a segar, told the
young gent that the house was friquented by all the Brittish nobillaty, who reglar took their
dinners there. "They can't ebide their own quiseen," he said. "You'll see what a dinner we'll
serve you to-day." Jools wrote off to his paper—