Burlesques William Makepeace Thackeray

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With so numerous a family quartered on the nation, the solicitude of the admirable King
may be conceived, lest a revolution should ensue, and fling them on the world once more.
How could he support so numerous a family? Considerable as his wealth was (for he was
known to have amassed about a hundred and thirteen billions, which were lying in the
caves of the Tuileries), yet such a sum was quite insignificant, when divided among his
progeny; and, besides, he naturally preferred getting from the nation as much as his faithful
people could possibly afford.
Seeing the imminency of the danger, and that money, well applied, is often more
efficacious than the conqueror's sword, the King's Ministers were anxious that he should
devote a part of his savings to the carrying on of the war. But, with the cautiousness of age,
the monarch declined this offer; he preferred, he said, throwing himself upon his faithful
people, who, he was sure, would meet, as became them, the coming exigency. The
Chambers met his appeal with their usual devotion. At a solemn convocation of those
legislative bodies, the King, surrounded by his family, explained the circumstances and the
danger. His Majesty, his family, his Ministers, and the two Chambers, then burst into tears,
according to immemorial usage, and raising their hands to the ceiling, swore eternal fidelity
to the dynasty and to France, and embraced each other affectingly all round.
It need not be said that in the course of that evening two hundred Deputies of the Left left
Paris, and joined the Prince John Thomas Napoleon, who was now advanced as far as
Dijon: two hundred and fifty-three (of the Right, the Centre, and Round the Corner,)
similarly quitted the capital to pay their homage to the Duke of Bordeaux. They were
followed, according to their several political predilections, by the various Ministers and
dignitaries of the State. The only Minister who remained in Paris was Marshal Thiers,
Prince of Waterloo (he had defeated the English in the very field where they had obtained
formerly a success, though the victory was as usual claimed by the Irish Brigade); but age
had ruined the health and diminished the immense strength of that gigantic leader, and it is
said his only reason for remaining in Paris was because a fit of the gout kept him in bed.
The capital was entirely tranquil. The theatres and cafes were open as usual, and the
masked balls attended with great enthusiasm: confiding in their hundred and twenty-four
forts, the light-minded people had nothing to fear.
Except in the way of money, the King left nothing undone to conciliate his people. He even
went among them with his umbrella; but they were little touched with that mark of
confidence. He shook hands with everybody; he distributed crosses of the Legion of Honor
in such multitudes, that red ribbon rose two hundred per cent in the market (by which his
Majesty, who speculated in the article, cleared a tolerable sum of money). But these
blandishments and honors had little effect upon an apathetic people; and the enemy of the
Orleans dynasty, the fashionable young nobles of the Henriquinquiste party, wore gloves