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Burlesques William Makepeace Thackeray

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313<br />

Well, on looking over the Flare-up notices to correspondents, I read, one day last April,<br />

among the notices, as follows:—<br />

"'Automodon.' We do not know the precise age of Mr. Baker of Covent Garden Theatre;<br />

nor are we aware if that celebrated son of Thespis is a married man.<br />

"'Ducks and Green-peas' is informed, that when A plays his rook to B's second Knight's<br />

square, and B, moving two squares with his Queen's pawn, gives check to his adversary's<br />

Queen, there is no reason why B's Queen should not take A's pawn, if B be so inclined.<br />

"'F. L. S.' We have repeatedly answered the question about Madame Vestris: her maiden<br />

name was Bartolozzi, and she married the son of Charles Mathews, the celebrated<br />

comedian.<br />

"'Fair Play.' The best amateur billiard and ecarte player in England, is Coxe Tuggeridge<br />

Coxe, Esq., of Portland Place, and Tuggeridgeville: Jonathan, who knows his play, can only<br />

give him two in a game of a hundred; and, at the cards, NO man is his superior. Verbum<br />

sap.<br />

"'Scipio Americanus' is a blockhead."<br />

I read this out to the Count and Tagrag, and both of them wondered how the Editor of that<br />

tremendous Flare-up should get such information; and both agreed that the Baron, who still<br />

piqued himself absurdly on his play, would be vastly annoyed by seeing me preferred thus<br />

to himself. We read him the paragraph, and preciously angry he was. "Id is," he cried, "the<br />

tables" (or "de DABELS," as he called them),—"de horrid dabels; gom viz me to London,<br />

and dry a slate-table, and I vill beat you." We all roared at this; and the end of the dispute<br />

was, that, just to satisfy the fellow, I agreed to play his Excellency at slate-tables, or any<br />

tables he chose.<br />

"Gut," says he, "gut; I lif, you know, at Abednego's, in de Quadrant; his dabels is goot; ve<br />

vill blay dere, if you vill." And I said I would: and it was agreed that, one Saturday night,<br />

when Jemmy was at the Opera, we should go to the Baron's rooms, and give him a chance.<br />

We went, and the little Baron had as fine a supper as ever I saw: lots of Champang (and I<br />

didn't mind drinking it), and plenty of laughing and fun. Afterwards, down we went to<br />

billiards. "Is dish Misther Coxsh, de shelebrated player?" says Mr. Abednego, who was in<br />

the room, with one or two gentlemen of his own persuasion, and several foreign noblemen,<br />

dirty, snuffy, and hairy, as them foreigners are. "Is dish Misther Coxsh? blesh my hart, it is<br />

a honor to see you; I have heard so much of your play."

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