Burlesques William Makepeace Thackeray

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reddy by Mesurs Gunter of Buckley Square; there was such an account for Shantilly and
Honiton laces as would have staggerd hennyboddy (I know they did the Commissioner
when I came hup for my Stiffikit), and has for Injar-shawls I bawt a dozen sich fine ones as
never was given away—no not by Hiss Iness the Injan Prins Juggernaut Tygore. The juils
(a pearl and dimind shoot) were from the establishmint of Mysurs Storr and Mortimer. The
honey-moon I intended to pass in a continentle excussion, and was in treaty for the ouse at
Halberd-gate (hopsit Mr. Hudson's) as my town-house. I waited to cumclude the putchis
untle the Share-Markit which was rayther deprest (oing I think not so much to the atax of
the misrable Times as to the prodidjus flams of the Morning Erald) was restored to its elthy
toan. I wasn't goin to part with scrip which was 20 primmium at 2 or 3: and bein confidnt
that the Markit would rally, had bought very largely for the two or three new accounts.
"This will explane to those unfortnight traydsmen to womb I gayv orders for a large igstent
ow it was that I couldn't pay their accounts. I am the soal of onour—but no gent can pay
when he has no money—it's not MY fault if that old screw Lady Bareacres cabbidged three
hundred yards of lace, and kep back 4 of the biggest diminds and seven of the largist Injar
Shawls—it's not MY fault if the tradespeople didn git their goods back, and that Lady B.
declared they were LOST. I began the world afresh with the close on my back, and thirteen
and six in money, concealing nothink, giving up heverythink, Onist and undismayed, and
though beat, with pluck in me still, and ready to begin agin.
"Well—it was the day before that apinted for my Unium. The 'Ringdove' steamer was lying
at Dover ready to carry us hoff. The Bridle apartmince had been hordered at Salt Hill, and
subsquintly at Balong sur Mare—the very table cloth was laid for the weddn brexfst in Ill
Street, and the Bride's Right Reverend Huncle, the Lord Bishop of Bullocksmithy, had
arrived to sellabrayt our unium. All the papers were full of it. Crowds of the fashnable
world went to see the trooso, and admire the Carridges in Long Hacre. Our travleng charrat
(light bloo lined with pink satting, and vermillium and goold weals) was the hadmaration of
all for quiet ellygns. We were to travel only 4, viz. me, my lady, my vally, and Mary Hann
as famdyshamber to my Hangelina. Far from oposing our match, this worthy gal had quite
givn into it of late, and laught and joakt, and enjoyd our plans for the fewter igseedinkly.
"I'd left my lovely Bride very gay the night before—aving a multachewd of bisniss on, and
Stockbrokers' and bankers' accounts to settle: atsettrey atsettrey. It was layt before I got
these in horder: my sleap was feavrish, as most mens is when they are going to be marrid or
to be hanged. I took my chocklit in bed about one: tride on my wedding close, and found as
ushle that they became me exeedingly.
"One thing distubbed my mind—two weskts had been sent home. A blush-white satting and
gold, and a kinary colored tabbinet imbridered in silver: which should I wear on the
hospicious day? This hadgitated and perplext me a good deal. I detummined to go down to