Burlesques William Makepeace Thackeray

296
bags might be blown into eternity in ten minutes, you may fancy his situation was not very
comfortable.
But his safety lay in his treasure. Neither the Imperialists nor the Bourbonites were willing
to relinquish the two hundred and fifty billions in gold; nor would the Princes of Orleans
dare to fire upon that considerable sum of money, and its possessor, their revered father.
How was this state of things to end? The Emperor sent a note to his Most Christian Majesty
(for they always styled each other in this manner in their communications), proposing that
they should turn out and decide the quarrel sword in hand; to which proposition Henri
would have acceded, but that the priests, his ghostly counsellors, threatened to
excommunicate him should he do so. Hence this simple way of settling the dispute was
impossible.
The presence of the holy fathers caused considerable annoyance in the forts. Especially the
poor English, as Protestants, were subject to much petty persecution, to the no small anger
of Jenkins, their commander. And it must be confessed that these intrepid Footmen were
not so amenable to discipline as they might have been. Remembering the usages of merry
England, they clubbed together, and swore they would have four meals of meat a day, waxcandles
in the casemates, and their porter. These demands were laughed at: the priests even
called upon them to fast on Fridays; on which a general mutiny broke out in the regiment;
and they would have had a FOURTH standard raised before Paris—viz., that of England—
but the garrison proving too strong for them, they were compelled to lay down their sticks;
and, in consideration of past services, were permitted to leave the forts. 'Twas well for
them! as you shall hear.
The Prince of Ballybunion and the Irish force were quartered in the fort which, in
compliment to them, was called Fort Potato, and where they made themselves as
comfortable as circumstances would admit. The Princes had as much brandy as they liked,
and passed their time on the ramparts playing at dice, or pitch-and-toss (with the halfpenny
that one of them somehow had) for vast sums of money, for which they gave their notes-ofhand.
The warriors of their legion would stand round delighted; and it was, "Musha, Master
Dan, but that's a good throw!" "Good luck to you, Misther Pat, and throw thirteen this
time!" and so forth. But this sort of inaction could not last long. They had heard of the
treasures amassed in the palace of the Tuileries: they sighed when they thought of the lack
of bullion in their green and beautiful country. They panted for war! They formed their
plan.