Burlesques William Makepeace Thackeray

81
"I have caused one of our inginears to make me a plann of the Squallop Estate,
Diddlesexshire, the property of &c. &c., bordered on the North by Lord Bareacres'
Country; on the West by Sir Granby Growler; on the South by the Hotion. An Arkytect &
Survare, a young feller of great emagination, womb we have employed to make a survey of
the Great Caffranan line, has built me a beautiful Villar (on paper), Plushton Hall,
Diddlesex, the seat of I de la P., Esquire. The house is reprasented a handsome Itallian
Structer, imbusmd in woods, and circumwented by beautiful gardings. Theres a lake in
front with boatsful of nobillaty and musitions floting on its placid sufface—and a curricle is
a driving up to the grand hentrance, and me in it, with Mrs., or perhaps Lady Hangelana de
la Pluche. I speak adwisedly. I MAY be going to form a noble kinexion. I may be (by
marridge) going to unight my family once more with Harrystoxy, from which misfortn has
for some sentries separated us. I have dreams of that sort.
"I've sean sevral times in a dalitifle vishn a SERTING ERL, standing in a hattitude of
bennydiction, and rattafying my union with a serting butifle young lady, his daughter.
Phansy Mr. or Sir Jeames and lady Hangelina de la Pluche! Ho! what will the old
washywoman, my grandmother, say? She may sell her mangle then, and shall too by my
honor as a Gent."
"As for Squallop Hill, its not to be emadgind that I was going to give 5000 lb. for a bleak
mounting like that, unless I had some ideer in vew. Ham I not a Director of the Grand
Diddlesex? Don't Squallop lie amediately betwigst Old Bone House, Single Gloster, and
Scrag End, through which cities our line passes? I will have 400,000 lb. for that mounting,
or my name is not Jeames. I have arranged a little barging too for my friend the Erl. The
line will pass through a hangle of Bareacre Park. He shall have a good compensation I
promis you; and then I shall get back the 3000 I lent him. His banker's acount, I fear, is in a
horrid state."
[The Diary now for several days contains particulars of no interest to the public:—
Memoranda of City dinners—meetings of Directors—fashionable parties in which Mr.
Jeames figures, and nearly always by the side of his new friend, Lord Bareacres, whose
"pompossaty," as previously described, seems to have almost entirely subsided.]
We then come to the following:—
"With a prowd and thankfle Art, I copy off this morning's Gayzett the following news:—
"'Commission signed by the Lord Lieutenant of the County of Diddlesex.
"'JAMES AUGUSTUS DE LA PLUCHE, Esquire, to be Deputy Lieutenant.'"
"'North Diddlesex Regiment of Yeomanry Cavalry.