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Download the report - The Healing Foundation

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2a. Appearance shame and disgust<br />

Many of <strong>the</strong> participants described feeling ‘disgusted’ and clearly had low self-esteem and were<br />

shame-prone:<br />

“I think it's horrible and disgusting, and I suppose I think that's what o<strong>the</strong>r people<br />

think, see and think when I, I don't have make-up on, and I don't feel like it's<br />

me…” (AA)<br />

“…it's horrible, you know, it's still horrible…” (BB)<br />

“…I know it's my vanity, I don’t know, I'm sure people at work don’t sit and look<br />

at me and see if whe<strong>the</strong>r I've got any blotches, it is me and how I deal with it and<br />

my paranoia.” (EE)<br />

For those that described being less distressed by vitiligo, o<strong>the</strong>r factors or difficulties were ei<strong>the</strong>r<br />

more salient to <strong>the</strong>m, or <strong>the</strong>y valued appearance less in comparison to o<strong>the</strong>r factors such as<br />

education:<br />

“…you never try to cover, you have such a strong personality, I said look so<br />

many problems I have in my life and how I look my face or something, it really<br />

doesn’t bo<strong>the</strong>r me…” (FF)<br />

<strong>The</strong>se beliefs were often attributed to <strong>the</strong>ir background.<br />

2b. Intimacy and being with o<strong>the</strong>rs<br />

For some this fear of rejection, of being exposed, tangibly affected <strong>the</strong>ir intimate<br />

relationships:<br />

“…I don't think I could ever let someone get close or be close to someone<br />

enough to do that [get married], I don't want to really have kids, like I would like<br />

to, but <strong>the</strong>n I don't want to because I don't want <strong>the</strong>m to have vitiligo…” (AA)<br />

“…Around boys I am very self conscious in case I’m questioned about my vitiligo,<br />

so I don’t really know any boys”. (CC)<br />

“…even not letting my husband see me when I was naked and that’s a factor in it<br />

really, although my husband has never been bo<strong>the</strong>red by it, I have. It's just me<br />

really, how I perceive it, it's probably not as bad as what I think it is but.” (EE)<br />

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