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2a. Appearance shame and disgust<br />
Many of <strong>the</strong> participants described feeling ‘disgusted’ and clearly had low self-esteem and were<br />
shame-prone:<br />
“I think it's horrible and disgusting, and I suppose I think that's what o<strong>the</strong>r people<br />
think, see and think when I, I don't have make-up on, and I don't feel like it's<br />
me…” (AA)<br />
“…it's horrible, you know, it's still horrible…” (BB)<br />
“…I know it's my vanity, I don’t know, I'm sure people at work don’t sit and look<br />
at me and see if whe<strong>the</strong>r I've got any blotches, it is me and how I deal with it and<br />
my paranoia.” (EE)<br />
For those that described being less distressed by vitiligo, o<strong>the</strong>r factors or difficulties were ei<strong>the</strong>r<br />
more salient to <strong>the</strong>m, or <strong>the</strong>y valued appearance less in comparison to o<strong>the</strong>r factors such as<br />
education:<br />
“…you never try to cover, you have such a strong personality, I said look so<br />
many problems I have in my life and how I look my face or something, it really<br />
doesn’t bo<strong>the</strong>r me…” (FF)<br />
<strong>The</strong>se beliefs were often attributed to <strong>the</strong>ir background.<br />
2b. Intimacy and being with o<strong>the</strong>rs<br />
For some this fear of rejection, of being exposed, tangibly affected <strong>the</strong>ir intimate<br />
relationships:<br />
“…I don't think I could ever let someone get close or be close to someone<br />
enough to do that [get married], I don't want to really have kids, like I would like<br />
to, but <strong>the</strong>n I don't want to because I don't want <strong>the</strong>m to have vitiligo…” (AA)<br />
“…Around boys I am very self conscious in case I’m questioned about my vitiligo,<br />
so I don’t really know any boys”. (CC)<br />
“…even not letting my husband see me when I was naked and that’s a factor in it<br />
really, although my husband has never been bo<strong>the</strong>red by it, I have. It's just me<br />
really, how I perceive it, it's probably not as bad as what I think it is but.” (EE)<br />
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