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Download the report - The Healing Foundation

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confidence to o<strong>the</strong>r people’s reaction (‘it takes one event’; ‘[confidence] alters <strong>the</strong> way people<br />

portray you’). <strong>The</strong>re was a sense of a vicious circle, where it was <strong>the</strong> lack of confidence that<br />

induced people to behave in undermining ways.<br />

Ageing and feeling old: Women related <strong>the</strong>ir appearance to ageing, or felt that <strong>the</strong>y were ‘aged’<br />

by <strong>the</strong>ir appearance. One woman commented that <strong>the</strong>re was a ‘disrespect towards <strong>the</strong> elderly’<br />

which made getting old more difficult.<br />

Aged by appearance: Several women said that <strong>the</strong>ir feature (e.g. ‘turkey neck’; ‘old looking<br />

hands’; ‘bags under my eyes’) made <strong>the</strong>m look older.<br />

Feeling one’s age: Participants of both genders related <strong>the</strong>ir changes in appearance to getting<br />

older. This could be seen with fatalism ‘starting to look my age’; ‘age is catching up with me’ or<br />

<strong>the</strong>re could be a struggle to keep former good looks.<br />

2.) O<strong>the</strong>r People’s Responses<br />

Many participants were strongly attuned to o<strong>the</strong>r people’s responses to <strong>the</strong>ir appearance<br />

‘feature’, whe<strong>the</strong>r from acquaintances and ‘o<strong>the</strong>r people’ in general, or <strong>the</strong>ir own partners, family<br />

and friends. However, some respondents were feeling self-conscious or avoided exposure<br />

because of <strong>the</strong> responses <strong>the</strong>y anticipated from o<strong>the</strong>rs.<br />

Direct responses from o<strong>the</strong>r people: Many respondents felt that comments or o<strong>the</strong>r reactions<br />

(staring) from o<strong>the</strong>r people were an issue. This could range from casual comments to sustained<br />

bullying.<br />

Comments and staring: Participants noted that comments from o<strong>the</strong>r people about <strong>the</strong><br />

appearance feature (e.g. eye problem/ psoriasis/ scar) were an issue. Some said <strong>the</strong>y were<br />

stared at because of <strong>the</strong>ir appearance feature: ‘People stare specifically at <strong>the</strong>m (eyes)’. A<br />

couple of <strong>the</strong>se especially noted that people looked but did not engage: (‘children are <strong>the</strong> only<br />

people to ask questions’; ‘people will ‘judge’ but not say on appearance’). While comments and<br />

staring were mostly just mentioned as an issue, some noted <strong>the</strong>ir emotional responses. One<br />

woman with Dwayne’s syndrome felt ‘embarrassed and self conscious’ by o<strong>the</strong>rs’ comments<br />

and one man with vitiligo felt ‘ashamed and disgusted’ by <strong>the</strong> way o<strong>the</strong>r people looked. One<br />

woman said she found people staring at her legs amusing, and ano<strong>the</strong>r felt angry when<br />

strangers commented on her scar.<br />

Bullying: A few participants described being bullied: One woman was called ‘witch’ through<br />

childhood because of her crooked nose, <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r because of her psoriasis: ‘I have spent my life<br />

being laughed at, pointed at, and called names’.<br />

Responses from partners, family and friends: Participants often wrote about responses from<br />

people close to <strong>the</strong>m. While <strong>the</strong> majority was very positive, even casual comments by partners<br />

could be very hurtful.<br />

Positive responses: Some participants with appearance issues (e.g. body hair, scar, psoriasis)<br />

felt that <strong>the</strong>ir partner, family and friends gave <strong>the</strong>m support and reassurance, which improved<br />

<strong>the</strong>ir own confidence<br />

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