Download the report - The Healing Foundation
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confidence to o<strong>the</strong>r people’s reaction (‘it takes one event’; ‘[confidence] alters <strong>the</strong> way people<br />
portray you’). <strong>The</strong>re was a sense of a vicious circle, where it was <strong>the</strong> lack of confidence that<br />
induced people to behave in undermining ways.<br />
Ageing and feeling old: Women related <strong>the</strong>ir appearance to ageing, or felt that <strong>the</strong>y were ‘aged’<br />
by <strong>the</strong>ir appearance. One woman commented that <strong>the</strong>re was a ‘disrespect towards <strong>the</strong> elderly’<br />
which made getting old more difficult.<br />
Aged by appearance: Several women said that <strong>the</strong>ir feature (e.g. ‘turkey neck’; ‘old looking<br />
hands’; ‘bags under my eyes’) made <strong>the</strong>m look older.<br />
Feeling one’s age: Participants of both genders related <strong>the</strong>ir changes in appearance to getting<br />
older. This could be seen with fatalism ‘starting to look my age’; ‘age is catching up with me’ or<br />
<strong>the</strong>re could be a struggle to keep former good looks.<br />
2.) O<strong>the</strong>r People’s Responses<br />
Many participants were strongly attuned to o<strong>the</strong>r people’s responses to <strong>the</strong>ir appearance<br />
‘feature’, whe<strong>the</strong>r from acquaintances and ‘o<strong>the</strong>r people’ in general, or <strong>the</strong>ir own partners, family<br />
and friends. However, some respondents were feeling self-conscious or avoided exposure<br />
because of <strong>the</strong> responses <strong>the</strong>y anticipated from o<strong>the</strong>rs.<br />
Direct responses from o<strong>the</strong>r people: Many respondents felt that comments or o<strong>the</strong>r reactions<br />
(staring) from o<strong>the</strong>r people were an issue. This could range from casual comments to sustained<br />
bullying.<br />
Comments and staring: Participants noted that comments from o<strong>the</strong>r people about <strong>the</strong><br />
appearance feature (e.g. eye problem/ psoriasis/ scar) were an issue. Some said <strong>the</strong>y were<br />
stared at because of <strong>the</strong>ir appearance feature: ‘People stare specifically at <strong>the</strong>m (eyes)’. A<br />
couple of <strong>the</strong>se especially noted that people looked but did not engage: (‘children are <strong>the</strong> only<br />
people to ask questions’; ‘people will ‘judge’ but not say on appearance’). While comments and<br />
staring were mostly just mentioned as an issue, some noted <strong>the</strong>ir emotional responses. One<br />
woman with Dwayne’s syndrome felt ‘embarrassed and self conscious’ by o<strong>the</strong>rs’ comments<br />
and one man with vitiligo felt ‘ashamed and disgusted’ by <strong>the</strong> way o<strong>the</strong>r people looked. One<br />
woman said she found people staring at her legs amusing, and ano<strong>the</strong>r felt angry when<br />
strangers commented on her scar.<br />
Bullying: A few participants described being bullied: One woman was called ‘witch’ through<br />
childhood because of her crooked nose, <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r because of her psoriasis: ‘I have spent my life<br />
being laughed at, pointed at, and called names’.<br />
Responses from partners, family and friends: Participants often wrote about responses from<br />
people close to <strong>the</strong>m. While <strong>the</strong> majority was very positive, even casual comments by partners<br />
could be very hurtful.<br />
Positive responses: Some participants with appearance issues (e.g. body hair, scar, psoriasis)<br />
felt that <strong>the</strong>ir partner, family and friends gave <strong>the</strong>m support and reassurance, which improved<br />
<strong>the</strong>ir own confidence<br />
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