Download the report - The Healing Foundation
Download the report - The Healing Foundation
Download the report - The Healing Foundation
Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
much…sometimes I just want to because it’s so much effort putting on my make<br />
up…” (AA)<br />
“I would end up feeling really self-conscious and, and nervous and scared and<br />
vulnerable and, it's all because I haven't got make-up on”. (AA)<br />
3b. Confronting and explaining<br />
Some of <strong>the</strong> participants had developed positive methods of dealing with intrusive reactions, but<br />
such coping mechanisms were not widely evident in <strong>the</strong> group:<br />
“I would get <strong>the</strong> occasional like name calls… <strong>the</strong>y're just saying it because<br />
<strong>the</strong>y're scared of stuff that <strong>the</strong>y don't know, because if you just explain it to <strong>the</strong>m<br />
<strong>the</strong>y've got nothing to say…” (AA)<br />
“Control new interaction by informing <strong>the</strong>m beforehand.” (DD)<br />
3c. Overcompensation<br />
For some participants <strong>the</strong>re was a sense of overcompensating or using placation as a means<br />
of mitigating against anticipated rejection:<br />
“…it's really important to me what people think about me and because of that<br />
wanting to prove myself all <strong>the</strong> time I do go out of my way for o<strong>the</strong>r people, even<br />
at work if somebody says can you do this for me I won’t ever say no. It's like<br />
you’ve always got this want in you for people to like you because people have<br />
hated you most or your life or looked down <strong>the</strong>ir nose at you…” (GG)<br />
3d. Finding <strong>the</strong>ir own way<br />
Some participants spoke of rejecting cultural practices and finding <strong>the</strong>ir own way. This was<br />
particularly evident in relation to arranged marriage:<br />
“…in my mind that made me think well what am I going to do and <strong>the</strong>n I decided I<br />
wasn’t going to do it and I was going to go to university instead…because me<br />
and my husband had a love marriage…” (GG)<br />
3e. Denial, wishful thinking and minimizing<br />
Some of <strong>the</strong> more distressed participants described using a range of emotional coping<br />
strategies likely to exacerbate <strong>the</strong>ir adjustment in <strong>the</strong> long run:<br />
146