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them noticing: ‘I try to hide my face with hair/ make-up’ ‘nervous, jittery around others’, ‘avoid
photographs’. Others were embarrassed in social situations, e.g. when handing over money
[woman with hand eczema] or when talking to unknown people [woman with facial rash].
3.) Coping with Appearance
This is a very important theme given the aim of the overall study. Many of the respondents
wrote about how they coped with their appearance issues. The majority said their appearance
was not important to them or did not bother them; other things in life were more important.
Some also developed a pragmatic stance: one should be grateful not to be worse; life goes on;
one should come to terms with what one can not change. Others said they accepted their
appearance as a part of them or had stopped trying to hide their feature. In contrast, others
coped by concealing their appearance feature.
Not important: Some respondents said their appearance issue (e.g. alopecia, mastectomy,
facial scars) did not bother them or were not important to them. Some said that other things in
life or the ‘inner person’ were more important. Nevertheless, people said that they would like
nice clothes/ made an effort for their friends.
Pragmatism: There were respondents who had developed a pragmatic approach. Some
described appearance as a fact of life which one had to accept; ‘life is too short to worry too
much’ [woman with psoriasis]. For others, it was important to be grateful ‘it’s not worse’ [woman
with body hair]; ‘I’m healthy, I value that’ [sensitive about breasts]. There were also those who
saw it as counter productive to dwell on appearance: ‘I try just to get on with it as there is
enough suffering in the world without me feeling sorry for myself’ [woman with psoriasis and
general ageing]; ‘I just carry on the best I can’ [woman describing herself as ‘pigeon chested
and short legged]; ‘life goes on. I can’t afford to be upset by it.’ [woman with protruding lower
jaw]; ‘I think it is important to be positive and remember that what matters is not how you look
but what sort of person you are. If some people judge by appearances then I consider that to be
their problem, not mine!’ [woman with collapsed nose bridge].
Acceptance: Some respondents said that they accepted themselves as they were. ‘This is how I
am and I am happy with that’ [man with acne]; ‘It’s who I am and I will not change for anyone’
[woman with large nose, weight issues]; ‘I have a facial birthmark & I’m OK with it’ [female]. For
some, this also meant not trying to hide their appearance feature: ‘I’d rather be comfortable than
covered up’ [man with psoriasis]. Of these, some respondents also saw their issue as an
opportunity for personal growth: ‘I have tried to use my appearance in a positive way to help
others’ [woman with birthmark]; ‘dealing with others’ reaction to my scar has taught me to use a
range of coping strategies’ [female].
Hiding: Other participants, mostly women, described having developed strategies to hide their
features [body hair, ears that stick out, psoriasis, scarring, thread veins, overhanging abdomen]
through clothing, make-up or hairstyle.
Not coping: Some respondents described not coping to varying degrees. This could be by
‘hiding’ their feature not as a positive achievement but as a result of how bad they felt about
themselves ‘I try to hide my face with hair/ make-up as I feel people stare at me’ [woman with
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