Volume 1 Whops and Clobber R Humphries - The Woody Back to ...

25
Snap Goes Beaky’s Cane
Deborah’s head was spinning. The flesh
beneath her crisp white whopping bags seemed to be
sizzling. She shook her head in a desperate attempt
to clear the fog of pain. “It’s only whops, it’s only
whops,” she repeated over and over. Somewhere in
the distance she heard an audible gasp.
The Grand Dame stared at the cane in horror;
upon its devastating impact the shaft of the cane had
snapped off at the end. For a moment Ms Lawton was
at a loss as how to proceed. During decades of
thrashing thousands of luckless behinds she had
never once broken a cane. It had never occurred to
her that she might need a back-up. Clearly there was
no time to send for another cane from her office, she
couldn't leave Deborah folded over the horse. Her
mind raced.
"Melanie, bring me your ashplant," she
commanded. Quickly the Deputy Red-shirt came onto
the stage and handed the Grand Dame the short
swishy stick that she was required to carry under her
arm at all times.