Volume 1 Whops and Clobber R Humphries - The Woody Back to ...

Whops and Clobber
The Grand Dame remained standing, behind a
large desk. She greeted the inmates courteously and
welcomed the twelve newcomers who were starting
their sentences of seven years at the facility, without
the possibility of parole.
Ms Lawton removed her glasses and placed
them on the desk. The experienced inmates
exchanged knowing glances; this was generally a sign
that the Grand Dame was about to embark upon a
lengthy diatribe regarding the rules, regulations and
protocols that dictated their lives while they were
secured in the compound.
“I have an important announcement,” she
started, “as you are well aware, last year we imposed
a zero-tolerance program known to all of you as
Operation Scorched Arse. Upon reflection I now
believe that the program was not as successful as I
had hoped. I take full responsibility for the operation
and as a result I have decided to give you the
opportunity for a fresh start.”
The inmates exchanged curious glances.
“I have decided to stand down from my
position as Grand Dame,” she said slowly.
There was a chorus of shocked gasps from all
around the hall.
“It is my great pleasure to introduce Mr
Humphries,” she continued, “who will take over in the
role of Grand Master with immediate effect.”
The Brass and inmates gaped as Mr Humphries
rose to his feet. He walked around the desk and
casually hopped up and sat on it, his legs swinging
and dangling.