Volume 1 Whops and Clobber R Humphries - The Woody Back to ...

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immediately extended Nicola Jane’s lifelong
abbreviation from Nix to Nixdown.
A lot of stripes had passed under Nixdown’s
bumbags since those heady early days of discovering
the joys of minxdom. She was a naturally
obstreperous cove and her tendency to treat the
Brass and the Elite as second class citizens had not
proven to be a popular trait. The Brass and Elite
branded her a degenerate and laid siege to her
bumbags. Her fellow inmates, of course, thought that
she was absolutley fabulous.
Standing a mere five feet and half an inch tall
in flat soled shoes Nix was forced to raise herself up
onto the balls of her feet in order to reach over the
chair to grasp the cross bar on the far side.
Nixdown had no time for mantra’s she was too
busy directing dark hexes at the Grand Dame as her
skirt and bumbags were being neatly rearranged. She
winced as the cane scorched across her arse. The
feverish burn might have sent her into spasms of
ecstasy under the right circumstances but bent over
the straight-backed chair in Ms Lawton’s study it
merely caused her to mutter her own version of the
motto of the Hellfire Club inscribed on the doorway of
Medmenham Abbey. “Fay ce que voudras, Bitch!” Nix
muttered under her breath.
Nixdown and Jojo took it in turns to lay across
Rosemary’s lap so that they could have the hot red
stripes on their bottoms anointed with her mystical
balms.
“All this gab about Radical Revisions doesn’t
bode well for our bumbags,” predicted Jojo.