TANTRIC-QUEST-Encounter-with-Absolute-Love

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a rock wall before transmitting the dharma (the doctrine)to Hui-k'o, the Second Chinese Patriarch. The dialogue betweenBodhidharma and the Chinese emperor Wu of theLiang dynasty, a defender of Buddhism who was left puzzledby the laconic responses of the First Patriarch, is still wellknown:"What merit have I gained by supporting Buddhism andbuilding so many temples?""None.""What is the highest meaning of the Sacred Truth?""Nothing is sacred. All is void.""Who is this who is facing me?""I don't know."The doctrine of Bodhidharma has four tenets:direct transmission, over and above the Buddhistscriptures,a foundation not in the texts but in the experience ofAwakening,revelation to each individual disciple of the nature ofhis or her mind,contemplation of one's true nature, which is theBuddha nature.We can see that these four main points correspond tothe teachings of Tantric Shivaism, which are their source.At the time of my departure, my host gave me a copy ofhis commentary and translation of the VijnanabhairavaTantra, one of the most ancient and profound of the Tantrictexts, held in high esteem by the Shivaites. This Tantra gaveme my first glimpse of the goddess and the way that led5
me to meet my master, the Shivaic yogini Devi, seven yearslater, on the other side of India.My interest in Buddhism, Hinduism, and Tantrism haddeclared itself very early. As a Protestant student in an austereabbey at the foot of a high rock wall, I had discoveredand become fascinated with the splendors of religious services,where I sometimes served in a crimson vestmenttrimmed with lace. A resident bishop, a fabulous treasuregiven to the abbey by Charlemagne, a fantastically talentedorganist, and an excellent choir of which I was part captivatedme from the start. Very strict studies and 6:30 massevery morning, followed by half an hour of work beforebreakfast did what was necessary to build character. Corporalpunishment was still practiced - an assortment of varioustortures like kneeling for an hour, arms crossed, a dictionaryon each hand. Sometimes the periods of free time werereplaced with interminable hours of copying out the texts ofLatin authors or pages from the Petit Larousse. At night, thehuge dormitories were crossed in silence; strange meetingstook place on the roofs, where we went to smoke and talkabout love. In such places there was terrible loneliness, asometimes unbearable lack of affection, suicide attempts,forced vocations, bloody fights from which I still have scars,and sordid stories of love. Nevertheless, the excellence ofthe teachers; their devotion; the personality of the director,who charged around on his motorbike, cassock billowing inthe wind; and the general atmosphere of the place had meseduced.In that same period of my life, a friend of my parents, abeautiful and rebellious painter who looked a bit like AvaGardner and drove a red Alfa Romeo, began to encourage6
Page 4 and 5: TANTRICQUESTAn Encounter withAbsolu
Page 6 and 7: For Kalou Rinpoche and Devi,my mast
Page 8 and 9: INTRODUCTIONShivaic Tantrism of Kas
Page 10 and 11: cal and divine creations, all sacre
Page 14 and 15: my passion for art in general and p
Page 16 and 17: seem to have the soul of an ascetic
Page 18 and 19: 2From those first weeks in the Hima
Page 20 and 21: protective cords around my neck fro
Page 22 and 23: which the meditator tapped into cer
Page 24 and 25: or nestled in the pinnacle of the S
Page 26 and 27: Taoist master, alerted by Kalou Rin
Page 28 and 29: that Puritanism and other invading
Page 30 and 31: it, the more invisible it seems. Ma
Page 32 and 33: place where Shiva had reappeared to
Page 34 and 35: wrapped in my blanket, before going
Page 36 and 37: following the course of the turquoi
Page 38 and 39: 4I slept very little that night, ha
Page 40 and 41: "No. I want to stay here, to see th
Page 42 and 43: everything was still where I had le
Page 44 and 45: notes and books. She flipped throug
Page 46 and 47: 5When I went back up to the hermita
Page 48 and 49: greeted me in the Indian style. Whe
Page 50 and 51: ness is the place of ritual union.
Page 52 and 53: an end to them without always shift
Page 54 and 55: notions and beliefs you've allowed
Page 56 and 57: into the forest to find the necessa
Page 58 and 59: "Tell me about your first experienc
Page 60 and 61: Placing heaven outside self allows
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me. I took it, and as I was going t
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lack circles were forming. I felt w
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to reach my skin. Devi opened her e
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"When the whole suit of armor gives
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into my ears. I came up a second ti
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except the end of Devi's ring finge
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Devi ate slowly. Each of her moveme
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for three days and three nights wil
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8As Devi moved through the forest s
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another consciousness more joyous a
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you what you have absorbed of the w
Page 84 and 85:
well protected that others no longe
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It gives back a vitality, a color,
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pride. When I say that intelligence
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9I'd been living in my hut for abou
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That's a grave obstacle to future r
Page 94 and 95:
asked her all sorts of questions, w
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eing hit by a lot of stones, he'd c
Page 98 and 99:
seems that the evening is still you
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The next day, there was a fundament
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stopped myself as soon as I realize
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extended to the trees, the stones,
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your whole body is loose, center on
Page 108 and 109:
of his sincere affection and of his
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longer operating. I discovered, sim
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continuation - continuation of the
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no ritual to induce the meditative
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with you. When you exhale, the whol
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"That conflicted with my determinat
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"And when one leaves meditation, ho
Page 122 and 123:
thing with a man obsessed with sex
Page 124 and 125:
opportunity for impulsive debaucher
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as cream. Then Devi asked the ricks
Page 128 and 129:
cardboard shelter. I didn't sleep.
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would be practicing soon. I asked h
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to the coccyx. Our dance became ext
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14Devi opened the bottle of bhang a
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powerless in their terrifying light
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of consciousness onto the same plan
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orgasm without erection, and I susp
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times, she succeeded in making me c
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16Devi asked me to go find an armlo
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we've imprisoned by our desire. We
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sacrificial meal. Then you perfume
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the night will collect our pleasure
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17The twelve days that followed wer
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During these wonderful days, I expe
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facing a potential disciple is not
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"Between two breaths, there is a co
Page 160 and 161:
18We spent two or three hours a day
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young virgin, but powerful as a sno
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Jivaro Indians. And this time, it w
Page 166 and 167:
the moment when you were opening yo
Page 168 and 169:
each, she put them carefully into m
Page 170 and 171:
20In the days that followed the mai
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the void. Distinguishing between wh
Page 174 and 175:
ecome terrifying. Let yourself be.
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sary goods up to Devi, Ram smiled,
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day after day, and sometimes consum
Page 180 and 181:
overwhelmed me. My heart opened as
Page 182 and 183:
sit on a comfortable cushion or on
Page 184 and 185:
It's enough to be attentive. Usuall
Page 186 and 187:
Practice will change our perspectiv
Page 188 and 189:
ing each internal organ and setting
Page 190 and 191:
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