TANTRIC-QUEST-Encounter-with-Absolute-Love

overwhelmed me. My heart opened as if an implosion hadtaken place and left a gaping hole in my chest. First thisvoid swallowed up the last book I had read, The Teachingsof Ma-tsu,* then all the others, back to the first book givenme on my sixteenth birthday, the Bhagavad-Gita, which wasengulfed and disappeared into my heart. I awoke. At thisinstant, I felt the kundalini rise. The energy spread out likea sort of internal tidal wave, beginning from the bottomand rising with a shudder into space after having traveledthrough all the chakras. But the energy also spread like awidening sphere around the Self. I was prey to the samejoy, the same plenitude I had felt at the moment of theGreat Union with Devi. I knew that I had just received mylast initiation.When I haven't lived Awakening, I desire itWhen it occurs, fusion takes placeExperience and experiencer are oneThey are distilled in Absolute RealityThe months passed, and the rain of gold that Devi had spokenof never stopped falling on me. The slow maturation processbegan. I lived simultaneously in ecstasy and in reality. TheSelf was opened, rushing out in all directions in space, like aninternal big bang, after which, following the great Shivaic cycleof expansion and retraction, it returned to the center of theheart like an infinite breath.* Les Entretiens de Mazu, Ch'an master of the eighth century, introduction,translation and notes by Catherine Despeux, The Two Oceans, Paris, 1986.173