The Book of Knots - Jags
The Book of Knots - Jags
The Book of Knots - Jags
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<strong>Book</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Knots</strong> - <strong>The</strong> Symposium<br />
78<br />
Operations Manual<br />
Stage I<br />
Stage I operations prep the area for an Army <strong>of</strong> No operation. <strong>The</strong><br />
important thing is to keep people from thinking too clearly about what’s<br />
happening (thus the plans to irritate and distract), while removing hated<br />
and dangerous influences like music, passion, and art.<br />
<strong>The</strong> vanguard <strong>of</strong> the army (usually a squad <strong>of</strong> Multitude under the<br />
command <strong>of</strong> a Field Martian or an Exquisitor) will survey the area<br />
(a small town, a school campus, a high-rise apartment building) and<br />
identify:<br />
· Threats (things and people who might cause trouble)<br />
· Tools (things and people who might be useful)<br />
· Opportunities for FUN (an important part <strong>of</strong> the Army’s philosophy<br />
is that tormenting people and ruining their lives should be<br />
enjoyable!)<br />
Threats include anything that inflames the loving passions. This includes<br />
art, music, and people with a true joy <strong>of</strong> life. Joy and Love are anathema<br />
to the army––not just counterproductive and distasteful, but downright<br />
dangerous.<br />
<strong>The</strong> vanguard will need to neutralize these threats as completely<br />
as possible before the operation can begin. While their tactics and<br />
techniques will depend on the situation, here are some examples <strong>of</strong> what<br />
they do:<br />
Pod Thumpers<br />
While the Army <strong>of</strong> No hates any musical device (they particularly<br />
delight in ruining musical instruments, which they don’t just break but<br />
actually torture), they reserve special venom for iPods. While iPods<br />
don’t make music, they deliver it so effectively that in an area where<br />
people are jamming contentedly to the music that really speaks to them<br />
and makes them happy, the Army has a hard time operating.<br />
As a short-term solution, the Vanguard will round up all the Shadows<br />
with iPods, confiscate the pods, and smash them (they carry special<br />
thumb-screw-like devices and revel in destroying the iPods in front <strong>of</strong><br />
their enraged and terrified owners).<br />
In the long-term, the General is investigating a Program similar to the<br />
Big Pharma program to work with the RIAA and other Chessboard Zero<br />
legal entities to make personal music devices illegal.<br />
Commercial Bugs<br />
<strong>The</strong> Army <strong>of</strong> No finds television––at least commercial television and<br />
most broadcast radio––useful. As the General has said, “If Commercials