Gary_John_Bishop_Unfu_k_Yourself__Get_Out_of_You

How could I possibly call a failed relationship a win?
Well I’m not about to tell you how you’re better off without certain people in
your life. I’m not going to assure you that you’re a special little snowflake
who will find the perfect person “when you’re ready”. I’m not going to buy
into the self-righteous bumper stickers and internet memes that tell you how
great you are and that everyone else is the problem. You and I both know that
when it comes down to it, that’s just not accurate.
Nope. You won at that failed relationship because you achieved exactly what
you set out to accomplish in the first place. From the very first “hello”. “But,
but, but my partner wasn’t stepping up, THEY ruined it!” I got that but what
if you sub-consciously picked that person in the first place? The kind of ideal
character to re-create the same vignettes of life over and over and over?
What if you are actually driven to prove the notion that no one will ever love
you? What if it was planted there as a sub-conscious reaction to a turbulent
childhood, bad breakups, or the like? And what if, with this pattern buried
deep in your subconscious, you actively and deliberately undermined the
success of your own relationship?
You became sensitive to problems where there were apparently none. You
started picking at, getting annoyed by and blowing up the tiniest of things.
Over time you proved your point and the relationship reached its obvious,
final and natural conclusion. What if this is what you have become wired to
win at?
You were convinced you weren’t worthy of a loving relationship, so you
systematically set out to prove it and you succeeded. Congratulations!
If you think this is starting to make you sound like a hopeless sadomasochist,
don’t worry. There is a silver lining in all of this.
You may not relate to the example I described above. Maybe you’re happily
married to the love of your life. Or perhaps you’re beating off eligible suitors
with a giant stick. Look at your own, “dark spots”, the parts of your life
where you are most ineffective, where it seems like you have lost or are
currently losing.
You see, our thoughts are so powerful that they are constantly pushing you