Gary_John_Bishop_Unfu_k_Yourself__Get_Out_of_You

- Epictetus
The next time you catch yourself getting brought down by your expectations,
shift things in a different direction. Instead of getting your knickers in a twist
about how things didn’t turn out the way you wanted or expected them to,
simply accept them for what they are. In that moment you are now freed up
to deal with them.
“This is appropriate.” When you’re having growing pains at your new job,
take a step back and realize how appropriate that really is. Of course a new
job is going to take some getting used to, whether it’s the tasks you’re
performing or the people you work with. It’s therefore entirely appropriate to
make a few mistakes or tread carefully as you try to get to know your new
colleagues. The expectations dissolve right there, immediately.
If your relationship is struggling, change your perspective and get the whole
picture. What are your expectations?
Many of us expect our partners to be a certain way consistently, or to
anticipate our needs and know exactly what we’re feeling, as if by magic. But
your partner, like you, is an imperfect human with his or her own set of
complicated emotions and thoughts. So it’s appropriate that they may
sometimes be distracted or get short with you after a bad day.
We often expect other people to treat us exactly as we treat them. If we do
them a favor, we expect to get the same favor back in return. It becomes an
unspoken “debt” of sorts. When we give our partner a foot massage, we
expect them to reciprocate either directly or indirectly. Those expectations
grow both in weight and complexity in an intimate or romantic relationship.
You won’t believe how much your interactions with other people will
improve the moment you let go of expecting, the instant you learn to accept
things as they happen.
Again, this doesn’t mean you need to put up with shitty or abusive
relationships. But the only thing more unpredictable than one person is two
unpredictable people. If you are in one of those kinds of relationships, it’s
time for you to invoke the boat analogy. Stop rowing, the game has changed,
shift your plan. Your partners, friends, and family members all have their