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(Scars do not appear to be cause of death –shock ... - Bad Request

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I was glad when <strong>death</strong> <strong>to</strong>ok me and the wet noises I was making were<br />

silenced. The flush <strong>of</strong> acid in my lungs had grown cold even as the gas<br />

caressed my skin. All I could feel then were the dribbles <strong>of</strong> liquid trickling<br />

from my nose and lips, and the thud <strong>of</strong> boots in the distance.<br />

The world was still.<br />

Chapter 28<br />

I'm <strong>be</strong>ginning <strong>to</strong> <strong>not</strong>ice something.<br />

When a body wakes, the first thing that comes <strong>to</strong> mind is light. Vision. The<br />

radiant glow <strong>of</strong> the dawn. There are the sounds <strong>of</strong> birds outside chirping, or<br />

the creaks <strong>of</strong> the <strong>be</strong>d as your companion or lover rolls over. Then comes<br />

tactile sensation: the cool air, still slightly damp even after surrendering the<br />

morning dew. After that, the crisp, clean smell <strong>of</strong> dawn. Finally, as you stand<br />

up a sour tang fills the mouth, one that you rinse out with a swish and a<br />

gurgle <strong>of</strong> water.<br />

This is the serene dance <strong>of</strong> waking.<br />

I've heard some say that sleep is the way the body prepares for <strong>death</strong>. A<br />

rehearsal, really, where the body slips in<strong>to</strong> <strong>to</strong>rpor and the soul slides <strong>to</strong> dip a<br />

finger in<strong>to</strong> the world <strong>be</strong>yond, whether it's the scintillating chaos <strong>of</strong> dreaming<br />

(a concept I only know snatches <strong>of</strong> secondhand) or the strange burbling<br />

lands <strong>of</strong> the dead: dark, dry, and rattling with silent madness.<br />

May<strong>be</strong> there's some comparison, may<strong>be</strong> <strong>not</strong>. I've seen no light at the end <strong>of</strong><br />

a tunnel, or heard the voices <strong>of</strong> my loved ones, if I ever had any. There were<br />

no angels or devils or winding roads <strong>to</strong> lead me <strong>to</strong> whatever metaphysical<br />

journey's end where my soul might rest. Still, I can see the appeal <strong>of</strong> the<br />

analogy.<br />

Be<strong>cause</strong> when my body twitches back <strong>to</strong> life, everything is very much the<br />

225

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