Betydningen av seksuell erfaring, tiltrekning og identitet for ...

to define his sexuality and identity in a fixed manner that he later opposes.
We may also point out how the demand of coming out and being personally
responsible for changing public attitudes, may put the individual at risk for
anti-gay harassment.
So, as Michael puts it, he sat down at Soho and started ‘looking at
them, looking at how they behave’ to learn the discursive skills that would
subsequently lead to his friend Paul’s recognition of him as a gay subject.
Compared to the initial homosexual identity’s restricted code, this happy gay
identity offers a multitude of possible means to express his gayness:
including his sexuality; in thinking; in taste; in style; in pose and ways of
talking; and in ways to use drugs. The risk for illegal drug use is only linked
to being gay insofar as the cultural image of what it means to be gay
corresponds to the meaning of doing drugs. In Michael’s case both the drugs
and being gay are tailored to the same pattern.
What was it that to him made this discourse so powerful and attractive,
and which may be what makes this discourse of gayness more than a private
‘philosophy’? The answer to this might be found in Michael’s portrayal of
the hero of his story, the ideal homo. As we remember, he was attractive,
cool, happy and full of confidence. The power of this position may be firstly
the attractiveness that is related to a gay discourse, described in British
research as ‘extremely body conscious’, ‘awash with sexualized imagery,
eroticizing the young’ and ‘unashamedly celebratory in its prioritization and
pursuit of pleasure’ (Taylor, 2002 p. 166). Secondly, the power of being
happy and confident as opposed to being sad and ashamed, which again is
related to the political importance of being out of the closet and proud to be
gay. These ‘demands’ have been and still are important in the gay movement
and are seen as liberating both at the personal level as well as at the political
level, perhaps particularly in US American contexts (Epstein, 1987; Herdt
and Boxer, 1996). Despite the positive changes in public opinion towards
homosexuality in Norway (Hegna, Kristiansen & Moseng, 1999), many of
today’s young gay and lesbian youths have experienced periods of stress and
depression related to their homosexuality (Hegna et al., 1999). The presence
of sadness and shame represents the possibility of failure in relation to these
demands. An ideology of gaiety and pride, with idealised and unobtainable
aesthetics related to youthfulness and a beautiful body, ‘serve to foster
feeling of alienation and inadequacy’ and ‘contribute to some gay men’s
difficulties with self-esteem and eating problems’ according to Gary Taylor
(2000 p. 166). In addition, there is a risk that Michael will be forced to
suppress his possible sadness or his complexes when he is with his friends.
A social network where mental problems and weakness are not ‘allowed’,
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– NOVA Rapport 1/07 –